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Bob Batz
Senior Moments

Bob Batz has been writing for newspapers for 50 years. Batz, 68, began his writing career as a copy boy at The Flint (Mich.) Journal in 1958. He later was a feature writer at the Rochester (N.Y.) Democrat & Chronicle and The Akron (Ohio) Beacon Journal. He joined the staff at The Dayton Daily News in 1970 and retired from that newspaper in January 2007. In the 1980s, Batz was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for a series of newspaper stories he wrote on Alzheimer’s disease. He later wrote a play titled "Long Goodbyes" that was staged on two different occasions by the Brookville Community Theatre. Batz and his wife Sally have been married for almost 45 years. Both are members of the Brookville Fire Department, which they joined in 1975. Both are EMTs and Sally is a former paramedic. In 2007, Bob and Sally were named Brookville’s “Citizens of the Year” by the local Chamber of Commerce. The Batzes have four children, seven grandchildren, a mortgage, two cars, crabgrass and a four-pound dog named Matilda. For the past 10 years Sally has been administrative secretary to the Brookville fire chief. Since Bob’s retirement, he has continued as an adjunct journalism professor at the University of Dayton where he has taught feature writing, media writing and sports writing for 24 years. He also serves as Public Information Officer for the Brookville Fire Department and Public Relations Liaison for the Butler Township Fire Department.

 

 

Bob's Previous Columns

 

The Day I Tried to Fix My Car - September 11, 2009

 

A Second-Hand Treasure Trove . . . in Black - September 4, 2009

 

Dear Diary - August 28, 2009

 

Where Have You Gone, Jim Dodt? - August 21, 2009

 

Nothing Like a Sunday - August 14, 2009

 

Remembering Elmer Dobbs . . . My Grandpa - August 7, 2009

 

I’m Rich! - July 31, 2009

 

Weapons in School? Not Back in the Day! - July 24, 2009

 

Rain Falls in a Parking Lot, and America Blooms - July 17, 2009

 

Signs, Signs, Everywhere . . . - July 10, 2009

 

You Think You’ve Got It Tough? - July 3, 2009

 

A Long-Ago Graduation, and the Curious Tale of Lionel Baxter - June 26, 2009

 

Ugly Shirts With Silly Sayings - June 19, 2009

 

I’ve Won the Nationale (cq) Postcode Lottery! I’m Rich! - June 12, 2009

 

The Indignities Imposed Upon Our Canine Friends Must End! - June 5, 2009

 

How to Solve the World’s Problems: Get Rid of Fences! - May 29, 2009

 

My Wife’s Love Affair With 430-Pound Coats - May 22, 2009

 

Finally! A Fish-Shaped Mailbox - May 15, 2009

 

Bob the Bad: Driving the Speed Limit - May 8, 2009

 

A Dreamy Morning - May 1, 2009

 

Mom’s Exaggerations - April 24, 2009

 

Good News, You Grumblers! - April 17, 2009

 

The Store Owners’ Evil Plot Against My Wife - April 10, 2009

 

Bread and Milk for the Winter Weary - April 3, 2009

 

Goooooooooooooood Morning! - March 27, 2009

 

Grandpa’s Eternal Fishing Gear - March 20, 2009

 

Folding Brassieres and Other Strange Rules of Underwear - March 13, 2009

 

Rules for Naming Your Dog (Oh Yes, There are Rules) - March 6, 2009

 

Memories of The Music Man - February 27, 2009

 

Bob the Mechanic? Yeah, Maybe Not - February 20, 2009

 

The Crawl is Out of Control! - February 13, 2009

 

Nice to See You Again, Uh, Um, I’m Thinking . . . - February 6, 2009

 

Free Kittens? Some Bargain! - January 30, 2009

 

My Noteworthy Musical Career - January 23, 2009

 

Story of the Streets - January 16, 2009

 

A Self-Made Dawdler in Fast America - January 9, 2009

 

At 68, My Wild Urges Have Finally Arrived - December 19, 2008

 

Listen Up, TV Weather Reporters! - December 12, 2008

 

Seeking Shoelaces in the Superstore - December 5, 2008

 

Saturday at the Movies: For Kids, and Grandparents - November 24, 2008

 

Ol’ Henry vs. the Leaves - November 10, 2008

 

Opposites Attract, And Last a Lifetime - November 3, 2008

 

Super-Energy Just a Breakfast Away? - October 27, 2008

 

Up There in Years? Join the Ray Wilkinson Club! - October 20, 2008

 

The Many Things I Lose - October 13, 2008

 

Tell Me Your Story, Old House - October 6, 2008

 

You Get Organized! I’d Rather Not - September 29, 2008

 

Opportunity of a Lifetime! - September 22, 2008

 

The Adventures of the Oak Street Gang - September 15, 2008

 

There’s No Fun Like Map Fun - September 8, 2008

 

My Life as a Loser - September 1, 2008

 

Tangling Over Tweezers - August 25, 2008

 

There’s An Old Saying . . . - August 18, 2008

 

Fishing: It’s Not What It Used to Be - August 11, 2008

 

I’m 68, and I Don’t Care What You Think - August 4, 2008

 

Four-Way Stop at High Noon - July 28, 2008

 

And Now, A Column About . . . Wait, I Forget - July 21, 2008

 

Who Wants To Be a Hundredaire? - July 14, 2008

 

Good Luck Selling Marbles To an Eight-Year-Old - July 7, 2008

 

The Demise of the Doorknob: Part of the Conspiracy Against Things Bob Likes - June 30, 2008

 

I’m Back, But I Still Can’t Catch a Break - June 23, 2008

 

Rooching for Thingamajigs - March 31, 2008

 

My Maker Sends Duane to Check Up on Me - March 24, 2008

 

Proud to Be an American, and a Cleveland Browns Fan - March 17, 2008

 

AC/DC, Hip-Hop or Gospel, I Crank My Car Radio - February 25, 2008

 

If It Weren’t for Bad Luck . . . - February 18, 2008

 

I’m 68 Years Old and I’ll Loiter If I Want To - February 11, 2008

 

Leap Year, Schmeap Year! The Last Thing We Need is More February - February 4, 2008

 

Password for a Password - January 28, 2008

 

These New Years Resolutions Didn’t Last Long - January 21, 2008

 

Storm Approaching, So Why Do I Have to Go Grocery Shopping? - January 14, 2008

 

The Gift to Mark 45 Years of Wedded Bliss - January 7, 2008

 

My Magic Number is 6 - December 31, 2007

 

My Flashy Glove Notwithstanding, I Deny Having Taken Steroids - December 24, 2007

 

A Christmas Adventure and our Friendly Reindeer Savior - December 19, 2007

 

Come On: ‘Looks Like New’; Translation: Isn’t - December 10, 2007

 

I Need New Grandparents; How About You? - December 3, 2007

 

7 a.m.: No Time Like the Present to Call Your Pal - November 26, 2007

 

When Life Was Cheap - November 19, 2007

 

Vote for Me, Bill; I Mean It, Bruce - November 12, 2007

 

Rushing to the Mailbox for the Secret Decoder Ring - November 5, 2007

 

Who Thought I Would Want a Pet Parakeet? - October 29, 2007

 

Mounting a Comeback in the Argument Standings - October 22, 2007

 

When Was the Last Time You Smiled? Well, I Don’t Know Either! - October 15, 2007

 

Door-to-Door Sales and Loan Collecting Were Not For Me - October 8, 2007

 

Read This Column, But Only If the Time is Right - October 1, 2007

 

Batz vs. Batz in the Baby Likeness Battle - September 24, 2007

 

Little Jesse, You Have Quite an Act to Follow - September 17, 2007

 

The Undying Wisdom of Grandpa Elmer - September 10, 2007

 

I’ve Got Your American Idols Right Here - September 3, 2007

 

Need Hobby Ideas? Ask Your Wife! - August 27, 2007

 

I’m Now Married to the Bionic Woman - August 20, 2007

 

Dog Cages: 15 Miles Past the Gas Grills in the Super Store - August 13, 2007

 

Honk If You Are Grateful to a Soldier - August 6, 2007

 

Phone Books: Hotel Reading at its Finest - July 30, 2007

 

Born-To-Raise-Heck Bob - July 23, 2007

 

Leroy Zimmerman: Lucky To Be Last - July 9, 2007

 

Explaining the Release Rule to the Perfect Fishing Partner - June 25, 2007

 

Welcome to 2050: Another Day, Another $2,400 - June 18, 2007

 

Meet the Real American Idols - June 11, 2007

 

Penny Candy, Nickel Cigars, Dime Novels: I Remember That! - June 4, 2007

 

Help Me Get Disorganized - May 28, 2007

 

I'm Changing My Name to Bill - May 21, 2007

 

When Do You Find Time to Do Nothing? - May 14, 2007

 

Our Close, Personal, Complete Strangers Check In Again - May 7, 2007

 

As Mom Used to Say... - April 30, 2007

 

CSP is Catsup? And Other Tales of the Grocery Adventure - April 23, 2007

 

Sally vs. %$#& the Squirrel - April 16, 2007

 

It's the Bobber for Bob - April 9, 2007

 

The Perfect Piece for the Opunion Page - April 2, 2007

 

Uh, What Was I Saying? - March 26, 2007

 

Need Repairs? Don't Call Me - March 19, 2007

 

Why Do I Need a TV Station On My Side? - March 12, 2007

 

Meet the No. 1 Lolligagger - March 5, 2007

 

'After All, None Of Us Are Human' - February 26, 2007

 

Cheerios as a Thickening Agent, and That's Just the Start - February 19, 2007

 

The Curse of Anniversary Forgettance - February 12, 2007

 

Ode to Oddball Names - February 5, 2007

 

No Breaks for Bob - January 29, 2007

 

No Day Off For Ferris Batz - January 22, 2007

 

Get Your 'Snug as a Bug in a Rug' Home Now! - January 15, 2007

 

'Lordy, Flo, Don't He Look Like Junior' - January 8. 2007

 

E-Mail: The Worst of the Worst - January 1, 2007

 

You Know You're Getting Older... - December 25, 2006

 

Don't Forget to Remember - December 18, 2006

 

Personal Growth: Made It By a Whisker - December 13, 2006

 

Gift for Wife? Just a Few Small Suggestions, Dear... - December 6, 2006

 

I Wonder - November 29, 2006

 

I Hate Leaves - November 22, 2006

 

Thirty-Four Broken Laces Part of a Good Year - November 15, 2006

 

I Hung Up on the President's Mother - November 6, 2006

 

Orange You Glad This Wasn't Your Birthday Present? - November 1, 2006

 

Better Late Than Never for Costume Conquest - October 25, 2006

 

Compared to These, My Job's Not So Bad - October 18, 2006

 

Meet the N-E-W Bob - October 11, 2006

 

Enjoy Christmas Toy Quest While You Can - October 4, 2006

 

Read My Column?  Please and Thank You - September 27, 2006

 

The Legend of Billy G - September 20, 2006

 

Awakening the DJ Inside Me - September 13, 2006

 

Songwriting's Easy Now, So I Might As Well - September 6, 2006

 

Memories Return With the Ferocity of a Tiger - August 30, 2006

 

No Complaints - August 23, 2006

 

You Know It's You, Bob! - August 16, 2006

 

Too Late to Start the Batz Human Billboard Business - August 9, 2006

 

You've Just Gotta Wonder - August 2, 2006Yo

 

Sixty-Five Years of TV Time Flying - July 26, 2006

 
Here Comes Another Batz Moment - July 19, 2006
 
Vanity, Vanity. . . These License Plates are Vanity! - July 12, 2006
 
There's No Questioning Retirement - July 5, 2006
 
Wake Up and Smell the Old Sayings - June 28, 2006
 
Killing Time in the MRI Machine - June 21, 2006
 
I'd Be Lost Without Getting Lost - June 14, 2006
 
Sorry, Everybody - June 7, 2006
 
Where Have You Gone, Mr. Tap-Dancing Accordionist? - May 31, 2006
 
Too Late For My Appointment With Yesterday - May 24, 2006
 
No Pound-Packing Love for the Skinny Guy - May 17, 2006
 
You Just Can't Kill Swimmy the Fishy - May 10, 2006
 
His Jobs, Her Jobs - May 3, 2006
 
Forget It, Sport - April 26, 2006
 
A Song In My Heart, But From Where? - April 19. 2006
 
A Clear Sign of Spelling Decline - April 12, 2006
 
Shh! Off To The Library (Don't Tell Dad) - April 5, 2006
 
Hark! Whatever Happened to Old Sayings? - March 29, 2006
 
Next Week I've Got To Get Organized - March 22, 2006
 
Signs of the Times - March 15, 2006
 
Argyle Underwear and $12,000 Handbags: You Can't Beat E-Mail - March 8, 2006
 
The To-Do List to End All To-Do Lists - March 1, 2006
 
'Just Looking': Do You Know What That Means? - February 22, 2006
 
It's 34 Years Until My Next Helping of Respect - February 15, 2006
 
Stop Helping Me Through the Winter - February 8, 2006
 
My Big Chance To Become A . . . What? - February 1, 2006
 
The Food Network Has Changed My Life - January 25, 2006
 
Thank You, House Plants . . . Now Die! - January 18, 2006
 
Nothing Confirms Arthritis Like Lots and Lots of Tests - January 11, 2006
Op-Ed Writers
Eric Baerren
Lucia de Vernai
Herman Cain
Dan Calabrese
Bob Franken
Lawrence J. Haas
Paul Ibrahim
David Karki
Llewellyn King
Gregory D. Lee
David B. Livingstone
Bob Maistros
Rachel Marsden
Nathaniel Shockey
Stephen Silver
Candace Talmadge
Jessica Vozel
Jamie Weinstein
 
Cartoons
Brett Noel
Feature Writers
Mike Ball
Bob Batz
Cindy Droog
The Laughing Chef
David J. Pollay
 
Business Writers
D.F. Krause