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July 12, 2006

Vanity, Vanity . . . These License Plates are Vanity!


I’ve never seen the need for so-called “vanity” license plates.  For one thing, they cost more.  For another thing, they’re silly.
 

I saw a couple the other day. One carried the letters “SHHHHH”, which must have belonged to a librarian.  The other, emblazoned with the letters “CUTE GAL”, didn’t really tell the true story, however, because the woman behind the wheel was as homely as a picket fence, as my mother used to say.


Some vanity plates denote the car owner¹s occupation. Others spotlight his or her hobbies, kid’s names, birthplace, dog’s name, cat’s name, favorite football, baseball or basketball team, mother’s nickname or preference in vacation spots.


Why, I wonder, would I pay a premium price for license plates just so I can tell total strangers, including some who obviously are driving close enough to me to be cited for tailgating, where I was born or my dog’s name or my favorite TV show?


Just for the heck of it, I tried to come up with a license plate letter combination that would fit my personality and lifestyle.  Keeping in mind I have to limit the letters or numbers to seven or less, here are a few of my ideas:


IN DEBT
OLD GUY
SWL DUDE
SO BROKE
XKID
SUPR
MAN
GRAMPA
BACK OFF
SLOW DN
GN FISHN


I finally gave up and went with my own theory for creating a vanity plate message.  I just take numbers and letters the folks at the Department of Transportation give me and create my own vanity plate.
 

This time around I got GW 435.

 

“How do you like my new vanity plate?” I asked a friend.

 

“Vanity plate?” he replied, eying the letters.
 

“Sure,” I told him. “I got it special. The GW stands for ‘Great Writer.’ Neat, huh?”


© 2006 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

 

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