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Mike Ball
What I've Learned So Far
Mike Ball is an award-winning humorist who lives and writes on the shores of Whitmore Lake, Michigan, sharing a roof with his wife, one son, three cats and a doberman. Their home is just north of Ann Arbor, a town that includes around 50,000 University of Michigan students, 62,595 student-staffed restaurants, and an undetermined number of one-way streets.

In 2003 he was awarded first prize in the the Erma Bombeck Writing Contest for his essay, "Just A Little Bike." His humor column, What I've Learned So Far . . . is a monthly feature in the Northfield Courant. Over the past few years his work has also appeared in the Livingston County Daily Press and Argus, Corp! Magazine and the Toledo Blade.

Mike spent the early years of his life in Kailua, Hawaii, sitting on a surfboard, taking guitar lessons and wondering what it would be like to play in one of those great Midwestern garage bands. By his teen years his family had moved to Indiana and he was living that dream, writing and performing timeless songs like Hey, That Rake Fell On My Amp. He honed his musical craft until he could play the solo from Louie, Louie with the guitar behind his head, and could get dates with girls by singing House of the Rising Sun sitting cross-legged on the front of the stage.

He was able to successfully supplement the lawn mowing income by working as a freelance writer and photographer until 1979, when he founded
The Advertising Group, Inc. as a network of freelance production talent. The group produced successful ad campaigns for a variety of clients, with Mike writing copy, providing creative direction, shooting photographs, and making sure everyone’s belts and wallets were up to snuff.

In 1981 The Advertising Group became a real company and moved into offices in Plymouth, Michigan. There they grew into a creative "hot shop" (referring more to the quality of their work than to the air conditioner), with clients in Michigan, New York City, Chicago, New Jersey, Florida, Kansas, Ohio and Indiana. In the late ‘80s Mike sold the company to a large ad agency in Troy, Michigan and went to work there as a vice president. After a couple of years he realized that he still didn’t care that much for scotch and bought his company back.

Over the past 28 years, Mike has written and produced columns, ads, brochures, slogans, songs, menus, and anything else that needed writing, including a eulogy for a dog. He once wrote a monthly humor column for an information technology-oriented human resources magazine (now there’s a combination that just screams humor!) called Itrecruitermag. These pieces covered such topics as "What To Do When You Run Into Your Boss At The Career Fair" and "So, You’ve Been Downsized."

 

Mike's Previous Columns

 

Eddie's Choice: When Incarcerated Young People Go Free - September 8, 2009

 

The End of a Bad Seed - September 1, 2009

 

Ryan's Song - August 25, 2009

 

Love Is Not Hard To Find - August 18, 2009

 

To See Or Not to See: The American Man's Field Guide to Looking, Leering And Ogling - August 11, 2009

 

Speaking Of Cleavage - August 4, 2009

 

Jill and Kevin Inspire Wedding Musings - July 28, 2009

 

Go Out And Hug A Hacker - July 21, 2009

No, You Probably Didn't Win A Brand New iPhone - July 14, 2009

 

How To Talk Techie - July 7, 2009

 

A Fourth of July Primer - June 30, 2009

 

Another Special Father's Day - June 23, 2009

Non-Requiem for the Red Wings - June 16, 2009

Donna - June 9, 2009

 

An Old Ballpark, and 35 Years of Tigers - June 2, 2009

 

Memorial Day: Don’t Wait to Salute the Vets - May 26, 2009

 

Singing for the Seniors - May 19, 2009

 

A Snowbird Snapshot - May 12, 2009

 

A Few Thoughts About Mother’s Day - May 5, 2009

 

A (Sort Of) New Dock Part II – Laser Tales - April 28, 2009

 

The Dawn of a (Sort Of) New Dock - April 21, 2009

 

Not All Pirates Carry Guns - April 14, 2009

 

Hamburgers and International Monetary Policy - April 7, 2009

 

All Hail the Crappy Jobs - March 31, 2009

 

The Slush Nugget: Treasure of the Michigan Spring - March 24, 2009

 

The Fine Art of Delivering Phone Books - Part II - March 17, 2009

 

The Fine Art of Delivering Phone Books - March 10, 2009

 

Facebook II: Attack of the Online Geezers - March 3, 2009

 

Confessions of a (New) Facebookaholic - February 24, 2009

 

The Northern Man and His Snow Shovel - February 17, 2009

 

For Valentine’s Day, Just the Two of Us - February 10, 2009

 

After the Super Bowl - February 3, 2009

 

Curing SAD During Dark Winter Days - January 27, 2009

 

Flight 1549 On the Hudson: A Miracle? - January 20, 2009

 

Here She Comes! Miss Land of Blagojevich! - January 13, 2009

 

2009: The Year in Preview - January 6, 2009

The Ball Enquirer - December 30, 2008

A Brief History of Christmas - December 23, 2008

A Few Random Thoughts About the Holidays - December 16, 2008

Oh, My Aching Back - December 9, 2008

And Then There’s Football - December 2, 2008

How Not to Pardon a Turkey, and Other Thoughts About Thanksgiving - November 24, 2008

What Happened To Indiana Jones? - November 17, 2008 

Election Sights and Sounds I Will Not Miss - November 10, 2008

Something Important Happened Tonight - November 5, 2008

Tweet Me, Baby! Tweet Me Good! - November 3, 2008

An October Afternoon In Manhattan: Welcome to the Real Real America - October 27, 2008

Yet Another Foray Into the Jungle of Tele-Technology - October 20, 2008

I Don’t Know Nothing About Birthing No Alpacas - October 13, 2008

Alpacas I Have Known - October 6, 2008

My First Massage - September 29, 2008

I Still Can’t Find My Way Home - September 22, 2008

Surprise! I Have GPS on My Phone! And I Can’t Find My Way Home - September 15, 2008

Conventional Thinking - September 8, 2008

Our Voices Were Raised Again - September 1, 2008

OK, So It’s the End of the World - August 25, 2008

Another Chance to Hear Some Lost Voices - August 18, 2008

 

An Olympics Junkie Rejoices: The Five Rings Are Back! - August 11, 2008

 

Busking a Magic Dragon - August 4, 2008

 

Ice Road Truckers and Deadliest Catch: Now This is Reality - July 28, 2008

 

Another Anniversary for Me and My Best Friend - July 21, 2008

 

Mindy the Cat and the Elizabethan Collar - July 14, 2008

 

The Commanding Performance of a Fireworks Icon - July 7, 2008

 

This Land Is Our Land - June 30, 2008

 

There’s Just Something About The Solstice - June 23, 2008

 

The Night the Lights Went Out - June 16, 2008

 

A Few Thoughts About Father’s Day - June 9, 2008

 

Please, Red Wings, Make Me (I Mean You) A Champion - June 2, 2008

 

How to Talk to Your Wife - May 26, 2008

 

Does Anybody Know A ‘Guy Hollerin’? - May 19, 2008

 

Wonder Where You’re Going When You’re 21? - May 12, 2008

 

Beer and Engineering: The Perfect Dock - May 5, 2008

 

A Requiem for Smokers (Oh, and the Avs Suck) - April 28, 2008

 

A Day at Club Mallard - April 21, 2008

 

The Dark Side of CraigsList - April 14, 2008

 

CraigsList Beckons, So I’m Selling My Crap - April 7, 2008

 

All Things Considered, I’ll Stick With My RTG Hair - March 31, 2008

 

Spring Ski Trip, Part 3: A Visit to the East Possum Bladder Urgent Care - March 24, 2008

 

Spring Ski Trip, Part 2: Sliding Down the Garbage - March 17, 2008

 

Spring Ski Trip, Part 1: Half the Fun is Getting There - March 10, 2008

 

Lost Voices – Feel Like an Angel With a Broken Wing - March 3, 2008

 

NASCAR: The Real American Pastime - February 25, 2008

 

A Case of Classical GAS - February 18, 2008

 

Snow Day - February 11, 2008

 

Ask Dr. Mike – Real Men Aren’t Springtime Fresh - February 4, 2008

 

When the Lake Freezes Over - January 28, 2008

 

Who Were They? - January 21, 2008

 

Dr. Funny Guy Helps With Mac Envy and Love in the Lurch - January 14, 2008

 

Ask Dr. Mike: Fruitcakes and the Holiday Pilgrimage - January 7, 2008

 

2008 – The New Year in Preview - December 31, 2007

 

The Story of Carlson the Christmas Angel - December 24, 2007

 

True Love for Paris Hilton this Christmas  - December 17, 2007

 

Happy Xmas to Bill O’Reilly - December 10, 2007

 

Glowing Plastic Reindeer: The True Meaning of Christmas - December 3, 2007

 

Thanksgiving at Patrick’s House - November 26, 2007

 

Japan, Part 4: They All Look Alike, So Start Sending the Nasty E-Mails - November 19, 2007

 

Japan, Part 3: When in Fukuoka, Drive Like the Fukuokans - November 12, 2007

 

Japan, Part 2: How, Oh How, to Get Top Balloon Teams Eating Raw Squid? - November 5, 2007

 

Japan, Part 1: No, I’m Not Bringing You Back a Samurai Sword - October 29, 2007

 

The Gospel of Guy Food - October 22, 2007

 

Specify ‘Non-Ripoff’ and Have Fun on eBay! - October 15, 2007

 

Gee Honey, Your Hair Smells Like Victory - October 8, 2007

 

We All Try Not To Step In the Metaphor Droppings - October 1, 2007

 

We All Fall Together – 10 Sure Signs That Summer Is Over - September 24, 2007

 

Sitting On a Stool at the Counterculture - September 17, 2007

 

A Small Victory for Some Lost Voices - September 10, 2007

Ten Ways to Dislodge Those Pesky In-Laws - September 3, 2007

Everything I Know About Boats – Part II - August 27, 2007

 

Everything I Know About Boats: Part I - August 20, 2007

 

Banished to the Shed, Cherished Items Bid Farewell - August 13, 2007

 

Tater Mitts: Innovation for a Bold New World - August 6, 2007

 

Fyxenstuff and Fartengood: The Measures Of A Man - July 30, 2007

 

Put On Your Dress Robes - Harry's Back - July 23, 2007

 

For Every Woman, a Degree of Difficulty - July 16, 2007

 

Torpedo Speakers: Purple Haze on the High Seas - July 9, 2007

Wedding Bells and Chocolate Pudding - July 2, 2007

Yet Another Bout With the Cool Tool Gene - June 25, 2007

Taking Inventory on Father's Day - June 18, 2007

The Extraordinary Discipline of a Serious Columnist - June 11, 2007

Welcome to the Conspicuous Consumption Club! - June 4, 2007

A Night With the Sticker-Stickers In The Chest Pain Unit - May 28, 2007

The Gig Is Up - May 21, 2007

It's A Gig! - May 14, 2007

Spring Ritual: The Dock to End All Docks - May 7, 2007

Not Really Suitable - April 30, 2007

Like It Or Not Spring Brings Out the Skin - April 23, 2007

Whatever Happened to Crappy Kid Cars? - April 16, 2007

Tax Time for the Fiscally Confused - April 9, 2007

Where's the Reality on These Shows? - April 2, 2007

Hey, It Will Always Grow Back - March 26, 2007

A Pilgrimage to Paradise Part 3: A Scientific Interlude With a Two-Headed Calf - March 19, 2007

A Pilgrimage to Paradise Part 2: The Fort Lauderdale Old Country Buffet - March 12, 2007

A Pilgrimage to Paradise Part I: We Always Drive Straight Through - March 5, 2007

Oscar's Back, and Spanx Rules the Red Carpet - February 26, 2007

Behold My Tools; Now Where's Bob's Phone Number? - February 19, 2007

All's Well That Ends Well - February 12, 2007

The Clean and Strange YouTube Adventure - February 5, 2007

Where Have All The Heroes Gone? - January 29, 2007

Read My Column; I Call It George - January 22, 2007

Sniffing Out the Myth of the Weaker Sex - January 15, 2007

Naming the iPod That Has Everything - January 8, 2007

The Man and the Breast Exam - January 1, 2007

The Legalities of the Santa Clause - December 25, 2006

Men at Christmas: Shopmentally Challenged - December 18, 2006

Programming a Cell Phone - The Agony and The Ecstasy - December 13, 2006

New Cell Phone? Resistance is Futile! - December 6, 2006

The Official Language of the U.S.: American - November 29, 2006

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