iPod That Has Everything
I got an iPod for Christmas. This proves that
you can accomplish just about anything if you put your mind to it. And
if youíre willing to whine a lot.
realize that not too long ago I wrote in this very column that I didnít
figure on ever having anything quite as, well, as extravagant as
an iPod. Back in those dark Pre-iPod (PiP) days, I was ignorant of the
fact that no normal adult could afford at any time to be caught as much
as 100 feet away from his copy of Houses of the Holy.
have no idea what Houses of the Holy might be, the chances are
you werenít born when Led Zeppelin recorded it. And if, like me, you
came of age in the 1960s and were around to remember Houses of the
Holy, the odds are pretty good that you donít - 1960s and all. So in
either case, donít worry about it.)
now Iím an iBeliever. I have my 1,715 favorite songs loaded on my iPod,
accessible at the push of a button - actually, three pushes, a few laps
around the wheel with my thumb, another push or two, then the
realization that Iím still not getting my brain liquefied by Houses
of the Holy because I left the ear buds at home next to the coffee
Getting an iPod is kind of like getting a pet.
At first itís an iPuppy, all adorable and iPerfect. All you want to do
is gaze at it, and cuddle it and scratch it behind its cute little USB
port. But itís even better than a pet, because it never eats your wallet
or iPiddles on your lap.
Since you love your little iPod, you just
naturally want to buy it iPresents. Well, as luck would have it, an
entire industry has grown to help you satisfy this urge, and in a lot of
stores these days you can find whole aisles full of nothing but iPod
spend $40 on a little canvas jacket with leather trim to protect it from
getting scratched and, presumably, from catching the slightest iChill.
You can spend anywhere from $50 to $800 on speaker systems with iPod
docks built right in, so you can convert the most portable music system
the world has ever seen into a living room-bound console stereo. You can
pay $30 for a little kickstand that lets you prop your iPod up next to
your 44-inch plasma television and watch ďGone With the WindĒ on its
2.5-inch (diagonal) screen.
You cannot, to the best of my knowledge, buy
your iPod a squeaky toy or a neat little bed to sleep on, although I
have heard a rumor that sometime in the second quarter of this year,
Apple is planning to release a new product code-named iCot.
So here I am, the happy master of a bounding
little iPod. The only problem I have is what to call the little rascal,
which is actually something of an ongoing problem for me. Every one of
the many animals that have come into my life was rescued, and came with
a name, and I never felt really qualified to override fate in these
matters. Unlike most men, I donít even have names for my body parts.
in mind (not the body parts thing, but the larger naming issue), Iím
announcing the Name Mikeís iPod contest. If you have a suggestion
for me, just send it to
and Iíll announce the winner in a future column.
Just for the record, Iíve already ruled out ďiPoddie.Ē
2007 Michael Ball
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© 2007 Michael Ball.
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