Bob

Batz

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January 21, 2008

These New Years Resolutions Didn’t Last Long

Even as you read these words, the last of my well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions for 2008 are biting the dust.

I always mean well when I draw up my annual list of things I’m going to do in the new year, but alas, all of those promises quickly fade away.

This year, instead of carrying my resolutions around in my head, I sat down at my computer and made a list of them.

I typed it neatly, making sure the document was double-spaced, then I saved it.

I also put a copy of the list in my briefcase and another in my file cabinet that’s really my underwear and sock drawer in the bedroom.

“This is the year I live up to every single resolution on my list,” I proclaimed one evening.

“Yeah, right,” Sally said, not looking up from her newest Paula Deen cookbook.

For a long time, my annual lists were lengthy documents. In recent years, however, I’ve shortened them considerably.

This year’s resolutions numbered about a dozen.

The first resolution on my list this time around was “exercise for one hour every day.”

Others included:

·         Eat more vegetables

·         Smile often

·         Clean the garage

The “dress nicer” resolution came to me in early December when Sally and I were getting ready to go out for the evening and she asked me “Do you really think flip-flops look good with that business suit?”

Like I said, I always plan to live up to all of my New Year’s resolutions, but, for one reason or another, I never manage to do it.

The first resolution to be whacked from my list this time around was the “eat more vegetables” promise.

It fell by the wayside January 2. My vow to dress nicer was deep-sixed on January 12. My promise to clean the garage fell by the wayside four days later.

The last resolution standing was my vow to exercise for one hour each day.

Sally was determined to hold me accountable for that one. “Whatever happened to your promise that you would exercise more often in 2008?” she asked me one afternoon.

“I changed my mind because I’ve decided I already get enough exercise,” I replied.

That’s when she told me “Lifting a bottle of beer to your lips is not considered exercise.”

That resolution was still atop my list on January 19 when I modified it to read “Exercise for 30 minutes every other Tuesday.”

I changed it again a day later.

As of today, that final resolution is still on my list. But now it reads “Go to the public library and get a book on exercising.”

© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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