North Star Writers Group

My wife and I were out for a drive the other day and I was suddenly forced to swerve to avoid a chunk of something lying in the roadway. Glancing in my rearview mirror I noticed it was a car fender. Be honest. How many times have you been driving along and a fender fell off your car? “What was that?” your passenger asks.

“Right front fender,” you reply, proceeding on your merry way.

Yup, I wonder about things. . .

Did you know if you grew up in the 1940s, as I did, you grew up at a time when the minimum wage was 43 cents an hour, the average school teacher’s annual salary was $1,441 and only 55 percent of the homes in America had indoor plumbing?

Yes, call me curious . . .

Is there really a sign in a Cleveland clothing store that says “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks”?

Speaking of signs, when I spot one that’s particularly interesting, I jot it down.

So far, the best ones in my personal collection include:

• In a restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
• At a gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
• At a dry cleaner: “38 years on the same spot.”
• In a funeral home: “Ask about our layaway plan.”
• At a cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”

• In front of a car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
• On a bakery truck: “Roth’s Rolls. We bust our buns for our customers.”
• On the refrigerator in the kitchen at a firehouse: “Food should state name and date and if it’s late it’s tossed or ate. “
• Outside a massage business: “Your Stress Kneaded Here.”
• At a restaurant: “We have an agreement with the bank. They don’t sell hamburgers. We don’t cash checks.”
• In the rear window of a car: “The nice thing about egotists is they don’t talk about other people.”
• In a pet store: “Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.”

Yes, Bob wonders . . .

How come my car seems to get better gas mileage when gas is $2 a gallon than it does when gas is $2.85 a gallon?

Yes, I wonder . . .

I was reading the telephone book yellow pages the other day and discovered there are 49 pages of listings for dentists and dental labs, but only 18 ads for businesses that make and/or sell candy.

Yessir, I wonder. . . .

What was the meaning of a bumper sticker I saw on a car at a shopping mall? It said “Things haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.”

And, finally, this thought for the day:

The next time you think you don’t have anything to be thankful for, check your pulse.

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This is Column # BB47. Request permission to publish here.