I wonder about things . . .
My wife and
I were out for a drive the other day and I was suddenly forced to swerve
to avoid a chunk of something lying in the roadway. Glancing in my
rearview mirror I noticed it was a car fender. Be honest. How many times
have you been driving along and a fender fell off your car? “What was
that?” your passenger asks.
“Right front fender,” you reply, proceeding on your merry way.
wonder about things. . .
know if you grew up in the 1940s, as I did, you grew up at a time when
the minimum wage was 43 cents an hour, the average school teacher’s
annual salary was $1,441 and only 55 percent of the homes in America had
Yes, call me curious . . .
really a sign in a Cleveland clothing store that says “Wonderful
bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks”?
Speaking of signs, when I spot one that’s particularly interesting, I
jot it down.
So far, the best ones in my personal collection include:
• In a
restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see
• At a gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass
• At a dry cleaner: “38 years on the same spot.”
• In a funeral home: “Ask about our layaway plan.”
• At a cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any
but their own graves.”
• In front
of a car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
• On a bakery truck: “Roth’s Rolls. We bust our buns for our customers.”
• On the refrigerator in the kitchen at a firehouse: “Food should state
name and date and if it’s late it’s tossed or ate. “
• Outside a massage business: “Your Stress Kneaded Here.”
• At a restaurant: “We have an agreement with the bank. They don’t sell
hamburgers. We don’t cash checks.”
• In the rear window of a car: “The nice thing about egotists is they
don’t talk about other people.”
• In a pet store: “Unattended children will be given an espresso and a
wonders . . .
How come my
car seems to get better gas mileage when gas is $2 a gallon than it does
when gas is $2.85 a gallon?
wonder . . .
reading the telephone book yellow pages the other day and discovered
there are 49 pages of listings for dentists and dental labs, but only 18
ads for businesses that make and/or sell candy.
wonder. . . .
the meaning of a bumper sticker I saw on a car at a shopping mall? It
said “Things haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.”
finally, this thought for the day:
The next time you think you don’t have anything to be thankful for,
check your pulse.
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