North Star Writers Group

It took me many, many years to get organized so that everything in my life had a purpose. I always arrived at work on time, went to lunch around noon, left the office around five and was in bed by 10 at the latest. I changed the batteries in my smoke detectors twice a year, mowed my lawn every three weeks and took my vitamins once a day. It was a routine that after many years of practice became an important part of my life.

It was much easier to get disorganized.

Within three days after joining the ranks of the semi-retired, my life was just the way I wanted it to be. In a shambles. Trust me, it’s much easier being disorganized.

Before I did it, I spent hours each day writing elaborate notes to remind myself of the things I had to do each day. Now I’ve reduced that habit to hastily scribbling messages that would make my fourth-grade penmanship teacher, Miss Hazel Marie Johnson, extremely angry.

A typical Batz note to himself looks something like this: “Tk out trsh.” Translated, it reads “Take out trash.” Other Batz “classics” include – but are not limited to – “Gt gas 4 car,” “Call Sal,” and “Pck up lf bred at groc.”

My filing system for these notes is also rather . . . um . . . disorganized. I tend to leave them in the glove box of the car, the pockets of my shirts and wedged in my wallet.

That drives my wife, Sally, a little crazy, especially when she finds notes in the pockets of my pants after those pants have gone through the wash and spin cycles inside our 21-year-old Maytag in the basement. Just in case you haven’t noticed, hand-written messages – even those carefully penned in ink – change dramatically after spending 30 minutes in a washing machine.

If you plan to emulate me and take steps to get your life disorganized, here are few things to keep in mind.

For openers, you’ll probably have to do it on your own because there isn’t much information out there on getting disorganized. If you go online seeking information, you’ll also be disappointed. There are web sites for everything from off-color jokes to classic movies. Rock music lyrics are out there, too, as are sites that tell you everything from the populations of all 50 states to the names, ages and birthplaces of every American president.

But you can forget about finding tips for getting disorganized.

And don’t expect any help from any of the gazillions of magazines you find on the newsstands these days, either. Those magazines do a great job of telling you how to do everything from catching bass to buying a new car. But I haven’t found one yet that tells readers how to get disorganized.

I’d give anything to find a magazine that promised: “HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FROM ORGANIZED TO CHAOTIC IN 5 DAYS.” Or, better yet: “THE ART OF SHEDDING WORRIES SO YOU CAN HAVE A LOT MORE FUN.”

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This is Column # BB074. Request permission to publish here.