North Star Writers Group

I think I’ve figured out why so many school kids these days are lousy spellers. I blame it on all of the botched-up outdoor business signs we are bombarded with on a daily basis. If you hop in the car and take a drive around your town, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Many signs, especially those with removable letters, set poor examples for youngsters. Sometimes you can blame the misspellings on the wind, which has a way of garbling outdoor messages in a wink of the eye. Other signs probably look that way because many of the company employees responsible for posting the messages can’t spell their way out of a paper bag.

For example, I spotted this sign in front of the fast-food restaurant: “10 PC eal 14.99.” What was that about? Then there was the sign in front of another eatery that promised “We are he best.”

Not to keep picking on dining establishments or anything, but this not-quite-right message was outside a diner: “Warm up with our new menu itmes & more.” What is an “itmes” and, if I order one, should I get it broiled, baked or fried?

Then there was the message I spotted in front of a car wash. It began, “Expert detaling.”

The messed-up messages go on and on . . .

In less than an hour last week I found a sign that said a tavern has a “appy” hour every day from 4 to “17” and another in front of a discount store that promised a “0 pct. off sale,” which doesn‘t sound like much of a deal to me.

Returning to restaurants, I saw a sign outside another the other day that said “Today’s Special: Pork Lion.” Um. . . maybe they meant. . . um. . . pork loin, huh?

Then, of course, there are those outdoor messages that make your spirits soar until you realize there’s no way they could be true. Like the one I spied outside a gas station just last week. It looked like this:

“Regular — $2.09.
“ Premium — 35.”

I knew right off the bat it was a mistake, so I didn’t even slow down.

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This is Column # BB14. Request permission to publish here.