North Star Writers Group

Now that I am semi-retired I have a new hobby. I've become a cook. I'd cooked before, but never on this grand a scale. I take it seriously. And I put my heart and soul into every meal.

“I’m going to start fixing dinner a few nights each week,” I told my wife, Sally.

"Oh, goody," she said, hiding her obvious enthusiasm for my newest project.

That same evening I prepared my first meal.

“What’s this?” Sally wanted to know as she took her place at the dinner table.

“I like to call it a clever combination stew/casserole,” I said. “Thought it up myself. My aim was to create an easy-to-prepare, bold, yet delicious, dish that’s rich in flavor and a treat to the taste buds.”

“For Pete’s sake,” she replied. “It’s macaroni and cheese from a box. You’ve definitely been watching too much Paula Deen.” She dug her fork into the yellowish mound of glop on her plate.

“What’s in your bold, yet delicious stew/casserole?” she asked.

"Beef, corn, rice, canned tomatoes, onions, okra and mushrooms,” I said.

“What are these?” she asked, showing me several soggy tidbits clinging to her fork.

“Cheerios,” I said. “I needed something to thicken it. I thought of it myself. Good idea, huh?”

Let me interject here that Sally is an excellent cook who collects all kinds of cookbooks and watches TV cooking shows all the time. Her favorite cook is Paula Deen.

The second time I single-handedly prepared dinner for her, she walked into the house and immediately spotted the sink overflowing with dirty dishes.

“What’s with this?” she asked.

“I . . . um . . .needed more pots and pans than I thought I would,” I told her.

She plucked a wok from the dishwater. “Where did you get this?” she asked.

“I borrowed it from a neighbor, just in case I needed it,” I replied.

The other thing that irks Sally about my new-found penchant for cooking is that I call her at work with questions. My most recent queries have included:

How do I turn down the oven temperature?
What does the abbreviation “tbsp” stand for?
Can I use a bath towel for a potholder?

The only time she really got upset with me was the afternoon I phoned her at work and asked, “Where’s that small fire extinguisher we used to keep in the kitchen?”

I’m not sure she has fully accepted my newfound knack for cooking. “What would you like for dinner Tuesday?” I asked her a couple of days ago.

“Carry out,” she replied.

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