May 7, 2007
Our Close, Personal,
Complete Strangers Check In Again
Every summer for the past 10 years, my wife Sally and I have received a
letter from a family we’ve never heard of. In each letter, they have
indicated they would soon visit us, but so far, thank goodness, they
haven’t showed up on our doorstep.
This year’s letter arrived last week. As usual, it was signed “Cecil,
Annie, Billy, Tommy, Sandy and Ruff.” I read it aloud.
“Hi, folks,” It began. “Hope this finds you all happy and healthy.”
“Read on,” Sally said. So I did.
“Things are swell here in Bad Axe. We’ve had a lot of rain this summer,
but the kids love it. Tommy is just getting over an ear infection. Annie
is taking cello lessons. She can already play two whole songs.”
I
looked up from the page. “Who in the heck are these people, anyway?” I
asked.
“They must be your relatives,” Sally replied.
I
read on.
“My cousin Duane accidentally stuck his finger in an electric outlet
inside their double-wide last Thursday. He’s OK, but the doctor says
it’ll be weeks before his hair starts growing back in again.”
“Cecil has quit his job pumping gas at the Sunoco station down the
street and now he’s attending college three evenings a week. He wants to
be a gynecologist.”
“Ruff isn’t a puppy anymore. He now weighs 310 pounds. He’s playful,
too. Last Tuesday he ate the couch in the living room. But the
veterinarian said not to worry because all dogs like to chew things.”
“Aunt Vera was here two weeks ago from Painesville. We had a real nice
visit. Vera thinks her husband, Gilbert, is playing around with a
barmaid in Cleveland. Vera still spends her spare time attending
funerals.”
“I
can’t remember if I told you this in last year’s letter, but Cecil went
deer hunting with his Uncle Lew. The first day out, Cecil shot an
eight-point buck. The second day out he shot Uncle Lew. The good news is
Lew recovered nicely. . . and we’ve got enough venison to last at least
three years.”
“Well, that’s all for now. We’re planning on being at your place
sometime in mid-September. We’d come sooner, but little Tommy’s arson
trial won’t be over for at least another three months.”
“God bless. . . and see you soon. Us.”
© 2007 North Star Writers
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