June 2, 2009

AOL Time Warner: Ah Yes, I Remember It Well

(Our scene: Former Time Warner chief Jerry Levin and one-time AOL boss Steve Case sitting in a café, sharing fond reminiscences upon the announcement that Time Warner would undo history’s most disastrous merger by spinning off the Internet giant. With apologies, of course, to Lerner and Loewe.)

Jerry: We met in Cannes . . .

Steve: It was Par-ee . . .

J: We talked till dawn . . .

S: No, 10:30 . . .

J: Ah, yes, I remember it well.

Jerry: We bought your shares . . .

Steve: We purchased you . . .

J: I was the Chair . . .

S: The Number Two . . .

J: Ah, yes, I remember it well.

Jerry: Your dazzling share price rise . . .

Steve: It crashed upon the news. 

We cratered from our highs.

J: That’s true. That’s true.

Steve: Still ticks me off to think how you

Twisted the knives the way you do.

J: Ah, yes, I remember it well

Jerry: How often I've thought of that Friday . . .

Steve: . . . Monday . . .

J: morn when we announced our rendezvous

And somehow we foolishly thought that reborn

We’d transform media and the Web too.

Jerry: Our high-speed pipes . . .

Steve: You blocked our use . . .

J: No boardroom swipes . . .

S: More like a noose.

J: Ah, yes, I remember it well.

J: Your “You’ve Got Mail!” . . .

S: Your execs trashed . . .

J: Synergies hailed . . .

S: No, more like hashed.

J: You wore that denim shirt . . .

S: I actually wore a tie

J: Did it really hurt?

S: We’ve all but died

Steve: Billions were drained

Our magic too

And what we gained

Was zip from you.

J: Ah, yes, I remember it well.

Bob, as a public relations consultant for America Online from 1996 to 2005, had a front-row seat on history . . . and certainly remembers it well.