May 28, 2009

My First Auto Bailout Reader

See President Barack. President Barack runs the Government.

Run, President Barack, run!
 

See President Barack’s friends. President Barack’s friends say President Barack is a Great President. See all of the reporters who work for newspapers and magazines. The reporters say President Barack is a Great President.

Great President Barack!

The friends and the reporters also say that President Barack is very, very smart. The reporters are very, very smart, too. Newspapers and magazines do not make any money, but they all still have jobs telling other people how to run their lives!

Smart President Barack! Smart friends! Smart reporters!

See the Auto Companies. The Auto Companies do not make any money either. Poor Auto Companies!

President Barack wants to help the Auto Companies. That is one reason the smart friends and reporters say President Barack is a Great President.

See the Auto Workers. The Auto Companies do not make money because they paid the Auto Workers too much. President Barack wants to help the Auto Workers. The Auto Workers gave President Barack a lot of money to help him become a Great President. Smart Auto Workers!

See the Bond Holders. The Bond Holders gave the Auto Companies a lot of money to help them build autos. The Auto Companies must give the Bond Holders their money back when they are done building autos. But the Auto Companies do not have any money to give the Bond Holders. Poor Bond Holders!

President Barack does not want to help the Bond Holders. He says they are greedy, because they want their money back from the Auto Companies. Greedy Bond Holders!

President Barack also does not want to help the Bond Holders because they did not give him a lot of money to become a Great President. Silly Bond Holders!

President Barack has lots and lots of ways he wants to help the Auto Companies and the Auto Workers. He wants the Auto Workers and the Government to own the Auto Companies instead of the Bond Holders. Having the Auto Workers and the Government as owners will help the Auto Companies because . . . well, because.

President Barack also wants to help the Earth and the Polar Bears. So he wants the Auto Companies to build lots and lots of small cars nobody wants to buy. President Barack and the smart friends and reporters say small cars will make the Earth greener and keep polar bears from drowning. Building lots and lots of small cars will also help the Auto Companies because . . . well, because.

President Barack wants people to pay lots and lots of money to use gasoline. President Barack and his smart friends and the smart reporters say that making people pay lots and lots of money to use gasoline will also help the Earth and polar bears. Making people pay lots and lots of money to use gasoline will also make it cost much, much more for people to buy and use the small cars that nobody wants to buy. This will help the Auto Companies because . . . well, because.

President Barack wants the Auto Companies to build lots and lots of autos that use alternative energy. Alternative energy cars will cost even more and more to buy and even fewer people will want to buy them. Making lots and lots of alternative energy cars will help the Auto Companies because . . . well, because.

President Barack says we need to save the American Auto Companies. President Barack means Auto Companies that have headquarters in Detroit and American Auto Workers who give President Barack lots and lots of money. President Barack does not mean Auto Companies that make autos in America but have headquarters in Japan and Germany and American Auto Workers who do not give President Barack lots and lots of money. We need to save American Auto Companies because . . . well, because.

President Barack is very, very smart. Smart President Barack!