May 12, 2009

Gitmo Welfare: Surrealism Meets National Security

News flash #1: Congressman Todd Tiahrt (R-Kansas) doesn’t think hardened Gitmo terrorists should get welfare benefits paid for by U.S. taxpayers.

News flash #2: That’s because the Obama Administration thinks they should.

“Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more surreal,” observed a Tiahrt staffer.

More surreal? They couldn’t get any more surreal if Barack Obama were Salvador Dali.

Turns out Director of National Intelligence Dennis Blair had let the cat out of the bag at a March press conference: "If we are to release them in the United States, we need some sort of assistance for them to start a new life. You can't just put them on the street."

Let’s parse that statement, shall we?

“If . . .” For the uninitiated, that’s where we leave real-world thinking behind and enter into Obamaniacal surrealism. Careful not to trip on the “soft watches” littering the landscape.

“release them . . .” Release whom? Why, the up to 30 Gitmo detainees Attorney General Eric Holder has indicated have been cleared to be un-detained. Our AG has been out on a begging tour trying to convince Europe to invite some of them for tea and crumpets, croissants or Apfelstrudel.

“into the United States . . .” The O-Ring wants to slide some of these upstanding citizens into your neighborhood – or maybe mine – in one of the most furtive resettlement schemes since Mary Shannon hit the USA Network. But just because Uncle Sam couldn’t find anything to hang on these fine fellas, don’t think that they are innocent cherubs merely hankering to head to the ‘burbs in search of chalupas.

Take the Uyghurs . . . please. As Congressman Frank Wolf (R-Virginia) pointed out, published reports link the militants with the terrorist Eastern Turkestan Islamic Movement. Some were apparently trained by Al-Qaeda, and they were swept up during the fighting in Afghanistan, where they were surely not taking in the sights, loitering or littering.

“we need some sort of assistance for them to start a new life.” This is where life, Obama-style, truly begins to illustrate art, Dali-style. Now, I love those bank commercials where the once-marauding credit-card pillagers are resettled. They crossbow Christmas reindeer, load up on beef at the supermarket, crack lobsters in restaurants with clubs and load down airport security baskets with knives, swords, chains and maces.

Good for a chuckle, but not as inspiration for national security policy. Except for the Obama Administration, who wants to hand their 21^st Century equivalent what amounts to “What’s in your wallet?”

Says Congressman Tiahrt, “We know for many of them, they don’t want to start a new life. They want to return to their old life.” He and Congressman Wolf point to examples of released Gitmo inmates who headed straight back onto the most-wanted lists. Wolf has asked to see classified interrogation reports to gauge the risks that the Ugyhurs will fall into the same category. Fat chance.

Because when you put surrealists in charge of national security, you get a president who thinks it makes America look better when we tell the world we’re bad, and stronger when we mug it up with dictators and literally kowtow to sheiks. You get the closing of the world’s most humanitarian and secure detention facilities for PR purposes by the same government targeting Iraq veterans as potential terrorists.

You get congressmen, senators and state officials of both parties ducking for cover at the prospect of taking Gitmo detainees. And you get the horrific prospect that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his ilk will be tried in downtown Manhattan or Alexandria – just down the road from their 9/11 targets.

Frank Gaffney, a national security official from the Reagan days, when defense was about defending, suggested at Tiahrt’s news conference that the goal was to get Mr. Obama to back away from his error in promising to close Guantanamo.

That’s right, Mr. President. Put down the paintbrush, slowly. And step away from the canvas.