March 26, 2009

Wolfman Frank: Getting Government Right

You’re all getting a clue by now that bad government is the bane of my ill-tempered, dismal existence. And that the worst of bad government involves my sitting in traffic.

Here’s how I figure it: When I’m waiting in a long line at the supermarket, management opens another checkout lane. But if I’m waiting in a long line of cars trying to get somewhere (usually late), what does government do? Open another lane, you say? Silly you.

First, government blames me for driving too much. Then it tries to raise my taxes to finance local roads while showering rural areas with revenues to pave two-laned country byways with gold. Then, when it finally decides to construct a way around our traffic mess, it battles a bevy of namby-pamby NIMBYs for a decade and scuttles the project.

Exhibits A through Z: U.S. Interstate 66 linking Northern Virginia to Washington, D.C. Four decades ago, I-66 was planned to boast eight lanes in its final approach to the District and from there split into two highways, one leading to a new Potomac River crossing.

Instead, in one of the most brain-dead planning compromises ever (forced by – surprise! – NIMBY legal challenges), the bridge was halted and said approach was scaled down to two measly lanes each way, which were in turn restricted to car pools during rush hour. I kid thee not.

Of course, during non-rush hours, the four-lane stretch is continually clogged, with much of that backup centered around one major exit in Arlington. Crawling up to said exit, I have often dreamed, “If only someone in government would have the common sense to lay down maybe half a mile of asphalt, this whole nasty traffic mess would be cleared.” As if.

So imagine the heart-stopping, breath-halting shock when I read that next year the government plans to lay down a full one-and-a-half miles of asphalt precisely where common sense would dictate. Global warming? Fugeddaboudit. A certain very hot place was about to freeze over.

That is, until I learned who was behind the widening project: one Frank R. Wolf (R), U.S. Representative for the 10^th District of Virginia. You see, my man Frank Wolf gets what government is meant to be – a service provider to us, its customers.

Wolfman Frank epitomizes smart and responsive government, centered on solving real problems while (mostly) adhering to Republican principles. He’s all about transportation – the 800-pound gorilla facing his district – and education, the next biggest concern. Wolf has brought together regional leaders to combat gang violence, a plague spreading to the outermost exurbs, has been that rare leader questioning the pernicious effects of gambling and is highlighting the dangers of shipping Gitmo terrorists to the mainland. His caseworkers are legendary for their working knowledge of the bureaucracy.

Meanwhile, the congressman has earned a global reputation for his championing of human and religious rights and his tireless fight against trafficking in women. He just called the O-ministration on the carpet for Hillary Clinton’s implication that snuggling up to China would take precedence over combating torture and “gendercide.”

OK, nobody’s perfect, and I’ll admit that I gagged some when the Wolfman caved on last week’s vote to cudgel AIG bonus babies with the tax code. His well-deserved reputation as an earmarker also earned a primary challenge last year (which he won, characteristically sweating all the way, with 90-plus percent of the vote).

But now he's even getting spending right – limiting requests to transportation and gangs. And with the Unholy Obama/Reid/Pelosi Trinity blowing up the budget even ahead of pending entitlement disasters, the congressman has proposed an independent “Securing America's Future Economy (SAFE) Commission,” charged with producing long-term spending solutions and real tax reforms.

What are its chances of passing? When you-know-where freezes over. In other words, given Wolfman Frank’s ability to get government right, just as they lay those last few feet of asphalt on I-66.