February 26, 2009

Give Me Stimulus . . . and Give Me Debt?

For those of us who groove on world-class political speechifying, Tuesday featured a feast of declamatory derring-do, along with a rich study in contrast.

Even given the buildup of a historic presidential campaign, the Sun King burst forth in his full splendor with the most dynamic presidential address since the Gipper. Glittering with confidence and charisma, lyrical in his cadence, epic in his alliteration, crystal clear in his explication, The One held a joint session of Congress and his nationwide audience spellbound with a dazzling O-ration that hit nary a sour note from its call-to-action launch to its “we’re-not-quitters” close.

In a breathtaking display of the power of the bully pulpit – with the emphasis on bully – Le Roi Soleil did Teddy Roosevelt one better – speaking boldly and swinging a $2.5 trillion-big schtick.

The scope and scale of the Obaman vision was not just unapologetically but downright apocalyptically Big Government. After celebrating the lightning-fast passage of his monumental stimulust bill and defending his $1,500,000,000 Wall Street-to-Wisteria Lane welfare plan to boost lending, the Commander-in-Chief turned his sights forward. “I reject the view,” declared he, “. . . that says government has no role in laying the foundation for our common prosperity.”

Laying the foundation? The Chicagoan constructed a virtual Sears Tower of federal activism. Alternative energy, health care reform and educational renewal? Check. Fix Medicare and Social Security? Consider it done. “Eliminate wasteful and inefficient programs?” Next. Depart Iraq without consequence and stabilize Afghanistan? You got it. “Meet the challenges of the 21st Century – from terrorism to nuclear proliferation, from pandemic disease to cyber threats to crushing poverty?” Piece of cake.

Of course, Sleek Barry seasoned his expansive approach to Potomac Power with paeans to fiscal responsibility, tax-cutting, charter schools, merit-based teacher compensation and personal accountability. (The First African-American president’s admonishment of high-school dropouts: “It's not just quitting on yourself; it's quitting on your country.” Sweet.)

Not to mention – mai oui – populist bows to banker-bashing. “CEOs won't be able to use taxpayer money to pad their paychecks, or buy fancy drapes, or disappear on a private jet,” thundered the president, who has commissioned a redo of his quarters by Steven Spielberg’s and Dustin Hoffman’s Hollywood designer. And how about that Royal-Yacht-in-the-Sky known as Air Force One? O, his consort and the two princesses will surely be slum-dogging it in coach for their next jaunt to the beach house in Hawaii.

Yet The One did have to share a small piece of the stage with Louisiana’s comparatively unassuming but equally diverse and even more youthful GOP governor, Bobby Jindal. Jindal understatedly drew a contrast with Le Roi’s Versailles-sized state triumphalism by referring to his Indian immigrant father’s exhortation during a wide-eyed trip to a stocked grocery store: “Bobby, Americans can do anything.”

“To solve our current problems,” intoned the thirty-something wunderkind, “Washington must lead. But the way to lead is . . . by empowering you, the American people. Because we believe that Americans can do anything.”

It’s no coincidence that the nod for the GOP response went to Jindal – who is putting the Pelican State’s money where his mouth is by publicly pondering a “thanks, but no thanks” to stimulus programs that could ultimately weigh down the state budget.

“Give me stimulus . . . and give me debt?” Like Jindal’s measured response to the Obambast, the sentiment is not exactly Patrick Henryan in its defiance. But 233 years after the revolt inspired by another king’s Big Government overreaching, the host of Tuesday’s Mardi Gras celebrations did give B-dazzled but still uneasy American taxpayers reason to consider a party of their own.

Did someone mention tea?