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Nathaniel
Shockey
Read Nathaniel's bio and previous columns
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April 8, 2009
Passion Week: When
Gratitude Lays the Foundation for Happiness
For whatever reason, the Passion Week has repeatedly been a poignant
period for my wife and me. I don’t know if there’s something in the air
– pollen, baseball, whatever – if we inexplicably cling to winter’s
chill in the opening weeks of spring, if we subconsciously become more
melodramatic during the most important week in the Christian calendar,
or if it’s just a grand coincidence. But as we’re coming up on our third
full year of marriage, I’ve found this week impossible to ignore.
Our first year was like an extended honeymoon marked by skipping through
meadows, swim-up bars, financial prosperity and general happiness. And
if you believe that, let me also give you my theories on why Barack
Obama will eventually be considered right alongside Alexander Hamilton
as one of America’s financial geniuses.
It
wasn’t all bad, but it was rocky, to say the least. Moving, getting a
new job and marriage are generally considered among the most dramatic
and difficult events in life, right alongside giving birth to triplets
and watching your team lose a sports championship in the wrong bar.
Always calculating and precise, I made sure all three events were as
close to one another as possible. Eight months later, it was the Passion
Week.
Unfortunately, I had yet to realize that this week happened to be our
week of reckoning. Things got ugly and we nearly fell apart. I had no
idea that I was capable of such overwhelming bitterness. Who knew that I
might be a bad person?
Most counselors assured me that I wasn’t really that bad. I had too much
on my plate. I had miscalculated. When you think about it, I was
practically a victim here! Riiiiight. Looking back, it is clear that the
hardest time in our marriage closely paralleled our reliance on our own
goodness instead of on God’s. What did we expect?
Our second year was better – not perfect, but better. We got more
closely involved with a church right next to our home where I eventually
found myself on staff, and before we knew it, it was Passion Week again.
Only this Easter, instead of being mired in bitterness, we became
members of our church. The symbolism was almost laughable if it wasn’t
so wonderful.
Our third year has been the best one on record – still not perfect, but
I’ll settle for better than the last one. And wouldn’t you know that
this year, as Passion Week rolled around, God wasn’t busy showing us how
screwed up we were, nor was He finding the need to connect us more
closely with a church. Maybe those things will happen next Easter. This
year, He gave us a baby.
The baby’s not outdoors yet. We’re expecting it in October – at 3:33pm
on the 11th, to be more specific. That should be right around
the National League Championship Series, when the Philadelphia Phillies
are tearing up whatever team is unlucky enough to get past its first
opponent.
We’re still young, for which we’re grateful. I’ve always considered
myself smart, which I inevitably later realized was a miscalculation. So
chances are, I fall into the peas-and-carrots categories of being both
young and stupid. This is something I can live with.
Dennis
Prager, one of my go-to columnists, wrote in his March 10th
column, “Gratitude is the root of both goodness and happiness. Grateful
people are better people and they are happier people.” He wrote this with regards to the health of the economy,
but I can easily apply the principal to the health of my marriage.
Instead of counting ourselves wise, we tend to fare much better when
counting ourselves grateful.
My
wife and I are not sustained by wisdom, wealth, health, good advice,
careful planning or even good friends. These things, though helpful,
have only found us at one time or another by taking the path of God’s
grace.
It
is all-too appropriate that our lives find some shape around Easter. As
another one comes and goes, may we be so fortunate to continue learning
to live graciously and gratefully, ever mindful that whatever joys we
find, in our marriage or our growing family, only came about by the
grace of One who takes pleasure in sustaining us from one Passion Week
to the next.
© 2009
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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