Nathaniel

Shockey

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November 25, 2008

Whatever You Believe About Homosexuality, Say It Kindly

When I asked people why or why not they thought homosexuality was a choice, I asked for specificity and examples, so unless it was especially funny or insightful, I included only the best of the feedback that stayed within the guidelines. Let’s get to it. 

“Every truly gay friend I’ve ever had believes he was born that way. They say they knew as early as they could remember that it was same-sex people who made their hearts beat faster.” 

“I think you’re born that way. Too many kids I knew growing up came out of the closet when they left my hometown. None of them surprised me. They were effeminate as children.”

“It’s definitely something you’re born with. I grew up in a private Christian school attached to a Christian church in a bubble basically and there was this kid that was off. Years later I ran into this same kid at a bar and knew exactly why he acted the way he did when we were growing up.”

“When my friend’s nephew could barely speak (maybe a year and a half old) he would say he was a girl and not a boy. For his second Christmas he wanted a Beauty and the Beast magic mirror. He ran around the house in women’s shoes and nighties. He is now 18 and gay as he could possibly be. This kid was born gay.”

That response followed the guidelines and was funny.

And from the other team:

“In four cases, which are all of my formerly homosexual friends, they have become heterosexual, married, and two of them now have children.”

“Every homosexual I’ve ever known was the victim of abuse of some sort as a child or grew up in a dysfunctional home where the father figure was absent or dysfunctional.”

“I know someone personally who felt drawn to the same sex as a pre-pub youth (was exposed to stuff at a very young age and got confused). By the grace of God, this person overcame it with prayer and has been happily married for at least 20 years now.”

“Given that the incidence of homosexual behavior in prison is considerably higher than in the general population, I am inclined to believe that normally heterosexual men can and do get sexual gratification from homosexual activity, which leads me to believe that many young people who would normally grow through any sexual self-doubts to become practicing heterosexuals may be taught that they must be gay if they in fact have any urges at all in that direction.”

And responding to the question concerning whether or not sexuality is a choice, one insightful reader noted, “If you are an inmate, it could be chosen for you.”

I received a lot of feedback concerning the Biblical perspective on homosexuality. There were also many readers who noted the incredibly high health risks of homosexuality as well as the incredibly low life expectancy. These are all important points, although I left them out because they weren’t real-life examples.

The problem is, the mainstream media won’t even take a lunch break in a room that contains a list of any of these unbelievable statistics. And it obviously won’t mention this discussion unless it’s completely one-sided. Thankfully, there are ways of reaching people other than TV, newspaper or radio. We can even do it without our cell phones or computers.

We must learn to talk about the uncomfortable side of the homosexual debate – and yes, it is a debate – without being rude, smug, arrogant or stupid. Get informed, be open-minded and understand that the only way to reach people is to listen before speaking, and when speaking, doing so honestly and gently.

America could very likely eat itself alive if we don’t learn to admit that the jury is still out on the debate about sexual preference. Either that, or we can just roll over and accept the idea that marriage may be sacred but has nothing to do with gender.

The passing of Proposition 8 in California shocked some people (although anyone who did actual research knew this would happen). At the very least, it should have opened some eyes to the fact that not everyone thinks sexual preference is inborn. So as the social war rages in the upcoming years, let’s take it seriously. Let’s learn how to talk about the real issues. Let’s take advantage of the fact that our country is still a democracy, and that the popular opinion is still supposed to rule.

© 2008 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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