August 23, 2006

Terrorists Smile at Sight of Weary Travelers

International travel is no longer a joy and privilege these days. As if getting your socks dirty and being felt up by a middle-aged man weren’t enough, now you can’t even bring a magazine on board. I’m sure there are serious reasons for this. After all, we don’t want people making origami weapons and throwing them at the flight attendants.

But boredom from reading the Sky Mall magazine may be one of your few worries. Standing in the security line for inspection with a clear plastic baggie is a little embarrassing if you need extra tampons or can’t live without Preparation H.

There is also the fun of filling out the customs forms about an hour before you land. You know, about that time when you wake up from your nap, realize that you really need to go to the bathroom, but that there is a cart with refreshments coming your way. As you order your Sprite, the flight attendant hands you a napkin, a nice sheet of paper asking you if you have been to a foreign petting zoo and…no pen.

You couldn’t bring your own, so you wait while the people in business class are done with the three pencils allowed per flight. And you still have to go pee.

I’m not trying to argue with the prescriptions of the Department of Homeland Security. I’m not sure what they and their British counterparts do, but they stopped the attackers, saving countless lives.

But lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place. If security scrutinizes every tube of Carmex, the attackers are not going to use the same tactic again.

This makes a weary passenger wonder whether all the safety measures are the correct ones. How valid are ex-post-facto precautions?

It seems that no matter what our government orders the innocent masses to do in order to provide a safe environment for their travel, the terrorists are always a step ahead, which besides being frightening, is quite frustrating.

The war on terrorism clearly needs cooperation from us as citizens. I just wish that handing over the hand sanitizer wasn’t the way to do it. Damn terrorists are making our daily lives inconvenient. And unsanitary.

Some of the consequences are not nearly as dire as those of life and death. As with many other things, our travel customs have not really changed since 9/11.

And though I have not a better solution, I find it frustrating that we are reacting to whatever the terrorists come up with. I have no problem giving up my iPod and mascara in order to secure the nation’s safety. But I do wish that we could implement more preemptive measures, ones that do not give the attackers so much power over us.  Having to disclose what medications you are taking to strangers, proving that the white liquid is really breast milk – those are things that are embarrassing and demeaning to a great majority of us.

And for those who hate this nation, that is a precious sight.