July 19, 2006

You, Paris? An Icon? Maybe We Need to Talk

Six years into the decade seems a little early to pick who the icons of the decade are, but top contemporary cultural critics think otherwise. Paris Hilton is among the world-renowned scholars who are sharing their vision as to what will define the first decade of the third century.

In a recent interview, Paris announced that she is the “iconic blonde” of the decade, following in the footsteps of Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.

“There is nobody in the world like me,” the heiress said. Let’s count our blessings.

I’d like to believe that the woman who starred in a porn video at 19, slept with Avril Lavigne’s husband and friend Kimberly Stewart’s fiancée and has been photographed locking lips with a ferret does not represent the women entering adulthood today.

If the inability to speak proper English, wearing skimpy clothes that cross the line between provocative and trashy and stamping your name on cheap perfume is what it takes to be an icon, she and Britney should have a talk.

It may save some litigation fees and hair extensions getting ripped out later on.

But as much as the fun of catfights transcends the passing of time, the idea of a modern female icon for today’s young woman is a lot less amusing.

I’m not about to give a spiel about how women need to be empowered to compete with men, to seek equal representation in the media and to join the corporate world.

They already have.

But the most successful ones did not gain international recognition and eight-figure paychecks by going to law school.

They enlarged their breasts, lined their eyes, hitched up their skirts, invested in microscopic dogs and brought dance moves known only to strip club patrons to daytime television.

And like Paris, they have the audacity to claim that this image is the reflection of me, your daughter, sister or friend.

I don’t know how to get this across to Paris. Maybe I should try simple sentences.

Icons are original.

(If uncertain of the meaning of the above statement, seek immediate help of a dictionary. Yes, you may access it on your Sidekick.).

Maybe if Ms. Hilton masters the art of operating a dictionary she will also obtain a thesaurus. There she is likely to find that icon is not a synonym for joke.

We are years from determining what defines today’s woman, blonde or not.

One thing is for sure: She is not a celebrity.

It appears that the young women in the spotlight today overstate their importance.

The sparkle of thousands of camera flashes equals one flash in the pan. Pretty girls with dye jobs and high heels have dominated the media for a long time. There is nothing innovative about them.

Endless opportunities to define real women against and among our peers from the past are yet to come. We have years to explore the meaning of womanhood in the present moment.  When the time comes, experts will be presented with thousands of economic, cultural and political combinations from which to choose.

And when the time to pick does come, I doubt that Paris Hilton will have the credentials to make the call.