Lucia

de Vernai

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August 5, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus 8: How is Watching This Trainwreck Good for Anyone?

“Do as I say, not as I do,” must be a favorite in the Gosselin household. Or maybe it just became a favorite when Papa Gosselin left wife Kate with eight kids to travel in the South of France with a new girlfriend and the founder of the Ed Hardy brand.

Not quite John Edwards-caliber sleaze ball, but the plot is bound to thicken. Since the kids are too young to cause any major DUI or secret pregnancy-type ordeal, it’s up to Jon and Kate to keep the viewers and tabloids coming. Their show Jon and Kate Plus Eight drew millions of viewers to the “separation” episode that ended last season on TLC, painting a grim picture of our taste in entertainment.

What the Americans who cannot differentiate between the young, blonde and semi-attractive women with whom Jon has been getting photographed want to know is this: What are we supposed to get out of this circus?

If there is anything we can get out of the ordeal, it is that feudalism is a parenting style: The Gosselin children, ages five through eight, have been on camera nonstop since they can remember, or not remember, in the case of the sextuplets. The constant presence of strangers in their home, long hours and artificial family dynamics bring in profits.

So does the embarrassment and confusion the kids have to be experiencing when they go into a supermarket and can’t reach for a pack of M&Ms without seeing a tabloid plastered with Daddy and his new “friend.”

Filming 40 episodes in a six-month period has landed many adults in the hospital “suffering from exhaustion,” and they aren’t trying to learn how to tie their shoes, use compound sentences and potty train on camera.

As another media “expert” and cultural critic drops her two cents in, we’re encouraged to believe that reality TV is healthy for everyone involved: The kids have matching outfits and we feel less dysfunctional watching the Gosselins abandon the well-being of their family for the spotlight.

Can our conscience really be healed by watching young kids enter a very public and very dirty custody battle while at least one parent gets busy chasing tail? TLC is banking on it and so are the weekly celebrity glossies and “experts” ready to tell us that gawking at other people’s misfortune makes us all the more human.

If we could at least admit our less-than-inspired reasons for following the Gosselins’ every move – wondering where you can find a hot chick that likes a man with a receding hairline and a gut and doesn’t let his family responsibilities get in the way of getting down to business is one – maybe we’d come to our senses sooner, turn off the TV and go hang out with our suddenly very normal families.

American reality TV aficionados are going to move on to the next big thing in days. Jon’s receding hairline and Kate’s housewife chic aren’t the only ones in the business. The ones who will truly bear the burden of this will be the Gosselin children.

That’s unless Angelina Jolie gets custody, providing stability and privacy they’ve never known before.

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