Lucia

de Vernai

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February 11, 2009

Want to Act Out Like Celebrities, Kids? Better Nab Some Endorsement Deals!

If you are looking for a reason to talk to your kids about racial sensitivity or domestic abuse, look no further than their iPod (it’s the little plastic square you paid $180 for). Pop music’s brightest shining stars have taken the awkwardness out of the situation by making it impossible-to-ignore breaking news.

Although raised in front of the camera, Hannah Montana’s 16-year-old star Miley Cyrus has yet to figure out that these things always get out. Actually, judging from the number of self-portraits of America’s favorite buck-toothed tart in her underwear or spread across some boy’s lap, navel in full glory, it may be no coincidence. But the latest shots of Cyrus and her privileged underage minions stretching their eyes in an attempt to look “Asian” are going to be harder to mask with “privacy” official statements.

While the country is celebrating ethnic and racial diversity and you think you have a great opportunity to discuss respect with your kids, here comes Miley! Although multiple Asian and Pacific-Islander cultural groups have condemned her behavior, the outrage from mainstream (read: white) America has been mild at best.

Maybe we’ll have to wait until Zack and Cody sport black face next season to fully appreciate the racial ignorance among the youth.  

If talking to your offspring about dating safety hasn’t kept you up at night, it’s about to. Pop princess Rihanna (of “umbr-ella-ella” fame) and Chris Brown (of “double your pleasure, double your fun” fame) never made it into the Grammy’s because 19-year-old Brown got booked for felony criminal threat charges after a midnight altercation between the two. Rihanna stayed in the Lamborghini as lover boy posted his $50,000 bail, since Prince Charming took the keys. Classy.

Although the details are unclear, both parties have cancelled their upcoming performances, and lawyers are bound to spin the story enough to make it all look like a big misunderstanding. Of course, your 13-year-old will have moved on to the next big thing. (Jonas Brothers are splitting up! Nooooo!) The initial event is what leaves the strongest and most lasting impression. The one you have to deal with.

And it gets harder every time the public, stock holders and other consumers respond with a slap on the wrist or point to so-called mitigating circumstances (“Chris was suffering from dehydration,” “Miley is sorry, but she’ll put on a wig, sing and make things better!”) and parenting with a straight face becomes that much harder. If my parents caught me taking half naked pictures for the Internet when I was 15, I wouldn’t see the light of day from that day on, not to mention the red carpet at the Oscars. Times have apparently changed, and so should your approach. 

My best advice? Turn the argument on your kids next time they try to excuse breaking curfew or pulverizing the neighbors with a string bikini. Tell them that if they want to be treated above the law like their idols, they better start bringing in endorsement deals and stacking up the multi-platinum records. Maybe then you’ll let them take the car. Maybe. 

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