Lucia

de Vernai

Read Lucia's bio and previous columns

February 4, 2009

Michael Phelps and American Parents’ High Anxiety

Every American hero must have a downfall. Originality is not a requirement. Women, illicit substances and, after a certain age, tax evasion. Good looks and charm always add spice to the equation. It was only a matter of time before gold-medal-winning mama’s boy Michael Phelps slipped on something other than the locker room floor. A picture of Phelps taking a hit of marijuana from a bong at a college party in South Carolina was published in a British newspaper News of the World on Sunday.

Phelps batted his eyelashes and, like in 2004 when he was convicted of underage drunk-driving, kept his contracts with Swiss watchmaker Omega, Speedo, Visa, Kellogg’s and Subway. Apologizing for his “regrettable” behavior, Phelps promised it won’t happen again. If Michael has a joint between takes at an arduous Speedo photo shoot or packs a bowl after his 8,000 calorie dinner, that’s his business, sure. The man just set the world record, let him enjoy life a little, right?

The “he’s a good kid” argument is a dangerous road to take. How many gold medals, straight A’s or chores do you have to rack up before that kind of public response? Seriously, those of us living in states where weed is a felony would really like to know. No one expects professional athletes to be “on” at all times, but the common sense to not take hits from a bong when a camera is close up to your face would be really appreciated by the parents and educators around the country who have to have this conversation. Now the “Phelps defense” is bound to become the standard response for every 14-year-old caught with a stash in his underwear drawers. Irrelevant good behavior is an effective mitigating factor.

The effect of the drug is a separate debate. Your conviction that marijuana should be legalized doesn’t change that the behavior is still illegal. That is why it is hard to explain why your kid can lose his college scholarship and get arrested for emulating his hero. Or why he keeps getting a seven-figure allowance despite it. If corporations want to keep bankrolling Phelps, that’s their right. Just don’t push your Corn Flakes at my eight-year-old nephew on Saturday morning or show up at his elementary school sponsoring the “my anti-drug” campaign next month.

Yes, lot’s of very successful people kids look up to smoked weed: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Clearance Thomas. And I understand why you would want your children to grow up to be just like them. But in the meantime, Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott says that he will charge Phelps if he determines he smoked the pot. My money is on the “evidence inconclusive, likely did not inhale” conclusion to the investigation. The $570 fine associated with the conviction should not be a problem for Phelps, who makes about $10 million a year. There is a saying among hard-partying college students: “It’s not illegal if you do it, it’s illegal if you get caught.” Apparently not.

The International Olympic Committee believes Phelps’s apology is sincere, and one look into those big baby browns is enough to forgive and forget. If Kobe Bryant can make it through the storm, we can safely assume Phelps will be an American hero well into his tax evasion days. 

Click here to talk to our writers and editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.

To e-mail feedback about this column, click here. If you enjoy this writer's work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry it.