Lucia

de Vernai

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September 29, 2008

Take Heart, Americans! It’s Tough All Over

The bailout deadlock and overall economic downturn have sucked the confidence and enthusiasm out of the American people. For those tempted to ask, “Why me? Why now? Why my hedge fund?” let me offer this consolation: Misery loves company. For this reason, it may be beneficial to turn our attention from domestic news and track some recent world events to find other countries amidst unpleasant ordeals.

Its economic prowess may scare us at a time like this, but the Chinese are still working out some business basics, namely customer service. Killing off your consumers before they can walk is usually an undesirable commercial practice, but you wouldn’t know it watching the reported 60 or so infants, mostly from poor families, die of malnutrition caused by sham formula. The fake baby formula caused what the Chinese call “big head disease,” which caused the child’s head to swell while the body starved. This is in addition to many other pirated products with high-risk potential, including bogus brake pads, toxic materials sold as medicine and mere months after poisoned pet food, which has reportedly now surfaced in Italy.

Arrests in the case of the baby formula scam have been made and each family that lost a baby as a result will receive approximately $1,200 in reparations from the Chinese government. Not exactly a golden parachute, but unlike our Wall Street-friendly officials, the Chinese government doesn’t negotiate.

Bipartisan meetings and searching for a win-win are also not in style in Africa, where Somali pirates seized a Ukrainian ship carrying weapons, including 33 tanks, sailing under a Belize flag. There were three Russians on board, so an armed Russian vessel is on its way, but until they get there Americans promised to guarantee that the weapons stay on board. The pirates are asking for a $20 million ransom, although Kenyan authorities, the rightful recipients of the Ukrainian weapons, stated that it was $15 million more.

If there is one lesson to be learned from this confusion, it’s that government earmarking is a universal practice.

If that doesn’t ease your mind about the commonality of difficult situations, take comfort in the fact that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, famous for his dislike of George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, capitalism and free speech, visited bosom buddies in Cuba twice last week before heading to Russia to quickly win the affection of Putin puppet President Dmitry Medvedev. Following the doctrine of “my enemy’s enemy is my friend,” the two negotiated a military deal that will make Venezuela Russia’s biggest military complex customer. The Russian navy is already on its way to Venezuela for exercises. It’s not very fuel-efficient or financially sound for the two struggling countries, but fake-it-until-you-(hopefully)-make-it risk taking seems to be the global rage these days.

Outsiders have been quick to point at the regrettable situation in the U.S., citing hubris, blood-sucking capitalism or, in the case of President Chavez, Bush’s stupidity as the cause. That is true to some extent, but given the propensity for making the same fundamental mistakes and the countless disgraceful ordeals around the world, at least we know we’ve got company.

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