David J.

Pollay

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December 29, 2008

Don’t Get Distracted by Differences. Understand Them.

Sixteen years ago in Spain, I was standing in a grocery store line. I had just started working in Malaga, the capital of the southern region, Andalucia. 

The store was small. People were in front of me and behind me. We were packed tightly together in a single-file line. Everyone was pretty much keeping to themselves, except for an occasional “Hola” or “Buenos Dias.”

After a short wait, I reached a point where I could see two registers. I was next. There was barely any space between me and the two people who were checking out, and the counters were not large enough for me to unload my groceries. So, I did the only thing I could. I waited for the next available register.

And then, I heard someone say in Spanish, “Excuse me. Choose a line.”

I turned around and the man behind me was waving for me to advance. “Choose a line,” he said again.

I looked at him. I looked at the registers. No one had moved. The customers were still checking out.

I looked back at him, and again, he said, “Choose a line.”

I smiled and said, “Senor, I’m already in line. There’s no room to go anywhere. The registers are busy. I’ll move when one is free.”

And he said, “No, you have to choose a line.”

How to form a line.

Now, one thing I knew was how to form a line. I didn’t need a tutorial.

So, I said: “Senor, I’ll move as soon as a register is free.”

I was thinking, “This guy must be having a bad day. He’s got a problem.” That is until everyone behind him started nodding and said to me, “Choose a line.”

“I’m not moving,” I said to myself. “There’s no need for me to get any closer to the customers in front of me. These guys just need to learn how to keep a line.” I held my ground. I knew I was right.

Finally, it was my turn. The cashier bagged my groceries, and I paid. I left the store and headed down the street with bags in both hands. I was still thinking about what happened. How could they all agree that I was lining up wrong? And then I stopped. I looked up and saw that all the street signs were in Spanish. The music playing around me was in Spanish. The conversations of the people walking past me were in Spanish. I started laughing. I said to myself, “I’m in Spain. If this is how they line up in Spain, I’ll do it their way. I’ll squeeze in. I’ll hover. I don’t have to teach everyone the way I do it.”

Understanding differences

As it turned out, I learned that Spaniards in Malaga (Malagenos) have much looser rules about lining up than I was accustomed to. Sometimes just crowding around a cashier is acceptable. And you know something? People still get serviced.

We often get distracted by the differences we see in the cultures, customs and habits of other peoples, organizations and countries. What seems odd to us bothers us. “That’s not the way it should be done,” we think. And then we get upset. I have learned that it’s better to try and understand a difference than to become frustrated and distracted by it. We need to keep our attention on what’s important.

In an increasingly interconnected world, the more we know and respect about each other’s customs and cultures the better our ability to work and live productively and harmoniously together.

In 1999 I took my wife, Dawn, to Spain on our honeymoon. We had a wonderful time. And we even lined up in Malaga . . . their way.

David J. Pollay’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, is due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com). He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of the personal coaching and seminar organization, The Momentum Project (www.themomentumproject.com).

© 2008 David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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