David J.

Pollay

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November 17, 2008

Ask for Help Without Dumping

One day my daughters and I were having fun on the play set in our backyard. Ariela was on the swing, and Eliana was climbing the ladder to the monkey bars when she stopped and said, “Papi, what’s this?” She held up her right hand so that I could see it. It was all orange and covered with speckles of green. I walked over to her, and looked at her hand more closely. Then I noticed the rungs on the ladder. The paint was peeling, and the bars were flaking with rust.

I said, “Eliana, please get down. Honey, that’s rust. I don’t want you to hurt your hands.” And then I looked up at the monkey bars. Four of the nine bars had the same issue!

I felt myself getting angry. I started talking to myself. “I paid a lot for this swing set and it’s already rusting.”

I kept on talking. “My girls are four and five, this is dangerous. How could they sell me equipment like this?”

I got even angrier. “And in two weeks Ariela has 30 classmates coming to her birthday party.” I looked at my watch. It was after hours. “Too bad,” I said. “It can’t wait! I need to call them now. No one messes with my family.”

So, I marched in and called the company. I got their voicemail. I left a long message. I covered all the main points: “My swing set is full of rust. This product is inferior. It’s not safe. How can my daughters play on it? And I have 30 kids coming to play on the swing set in less than two weeks . . . and almost 40 parents will be here!” And I closed by saying, “I expect a call at 9 a.m. when you open!”

I walked out to rejoin my girls: I thought that I had just taken care of them. I did what I had to do. The company knew that I meant business.  

And then a few minutes later I realized something. In my fury, I had allowed myself to become someone else’s Garbage Truck. I came out swinging in my message. I did not give the company the benefit of the doubt: I declared myself an adversary. I didn’t consider that the owner and his team might want to help. My anger blinded me to that possibility.

But my parents taught me something growing up about mistakes. Mom and Dad would say: “When you’re wrong, admit it. When you’re out of line, say you’re sorry.” So I went back inside and left another message. I apologized for my first call. And then I took a different approach. This time I said: “We like our swing set. We use it a lot. And we’re excited that Ariela’s friends will play on it during her birthday party. And I am confident that you will fix everything in time. Call me as soon as you can tomorrow.”

Sure enough, the owner of the company called me the next day. He was friendly and direct. He let me know what parts were under warranty. He then said he would waive the labor on the repairs if I would cover the rest of the material costs. I agreed. And just in time for the party, all the fixes were made. I tipped the four guys who did the job, and then I called the owner. I told him, “You did what you said you would do. You delivered. And your guys did a great job. Thanks.”

I was reminded again that my initial issue was not really with “the company.” It was with fellow human beings. When I assumed the worst and left my first message, I dumped garbage on them. When I was friendly and respectful, I made their jobs easier and more enjoyable.

We all deserve the good service we pay for. But we must remember that people like us run companies, sell products, and offer customer service: We should never dehumanize our interaction with them. We should treat people the way we want to be treated.

We make the world a better place when we ask for help without dumping garbage.

David J. Pollay’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, is due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com). He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of the personal coaching and seminar organization, The Momentum Project (www.themomentumproject.com).

© 2008 David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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