David J.

Pollay

Read David's bio and previous columns

October 13, 2008

Turn Off the Sirens and Forgive

Do you know that overwhelming feeling when a police siren goes off right behind you? You immediately feel the pounding of your heart in your chest and throat. You think, “What did I do? Was I driving over the speed limit? Did I go through a red light? Was I swerving? Did I cut someone off?” Most of us know this experience. And we are always relieved when it turns out that we are not the intended target of the police officer.

Sixteen years ago I heard a police siren blaring behind me . . . and it was for me! I was in Merida, Mexico and I was being pulled over by a local officer. And I had no idea why.

My mom was in the front seat, and my dad in the back. I had taken my parents to Mexico on a dream vacation. I wanted to show them Mexico’s ancient Mayan ruins and beautiful cities. I wanted them to experience the delicious cuisine and the colorful culture. And here we were on the side of the road watching a police officer approach our vehicle.

I rolled down my window when the police officer arrived at the side of our car. He said in Spanish, “You will come to the police station. You broke the law.”

I spoke Spanish, so I responded, “What did I do?”

He said, “You made a wrong turn.”

I knew this was not good: You never want a run-in with the police. Mexico is a wonderful country, but its police forces in that era were feared because of widespread corruption. How could a simple traffic mistake lead us to the inside of a police station? It was not fair. And I was worried.

I pleaded with the officer, “I am so sorry. I did not see a sign. I’m showing my parents beautiful Mexico. We’re visiting friends in this town. Please excuse us. It will not happen again.”

My parents were echoing my plea, “por favor senor, por favor senor.”

His stare was steady. He did not move. He was not budging. “No, you will come with me,” he said.

I made a mistake and this officer was going to make me pay. His judgment was my jury, and the price to be paid was down at the station. That is until two middle-aged women walking nearby took up our case. They said, “How can you take a nice tourist and his parents to jail because of a minor and innocent mistake?” The women continued, “Don’t give our country a bad name. Be forgiving and let them go.”

He stared at the women as they spoke. Then he turned his gaze on us. And with the flip of his hand, he said, “Go.”

In a release of intense emotion, we thanked the officer profusely. We then put our hands together in a prayer-like fashion and said thank you to the kind women who helped us.

How many times in your life have you felt unfairly judged? You did something unintentionally that was blown out of proportion. Your mistake damned you to a judgment that you were a bad person: You were viewed as insensitive, uncaring and unkind. And while you regretted whatever you had done, you felt violated because the judgment seemed so unbalanced: Your good intentions, your kind heart and your normally good behavior were not even being considered. You felt like I did in my car when the police officer pulled me over and said, “You will come to the station. You broke the law.”

This is how we feel when other people do not let our small infractions pass them by. When they decide instead that we are bad people, we feel abused.

And this is what we do to others when we damn them for their fleeting mistakes, rather than display real-time forgiveness and let them go. We make the world a better place when we forsake our judgments and afford others our forgiveness.

David J. Pollay’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, and his CD program, Gratitude Is Everything!™, are due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com). He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of the personal coaching and seminar organization, The Momentum Project (www.themomentumproject.com).

© 2008 David J. Pollay. Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

Click here to talk to our writers and editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.

To e-mail feedback about this column, click here. If you enjoy this writer's work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry it.

This is Column # DJP081. Request permission to publish here.