October 11,
2006
The
‘Economy’? Ha! There’s No Such Thing!
I should
have figured this out before now, but I recently discovered a very big
secret that will come as a shock to most Americans. There is, in fact,
no such thing as “the economy.” It was invented by newspaper headline
writers.
You think
I’m crazy? Well . . . that’s another conversation. But regarding the
subject at hand, consider how your typical story about the alleged
“economy”, like this one written by AP writer Jeannine Aversa on October
6, provides helpful information such as:
-
Unemployment is down.
-
Job growth is “slowing” (read carefully – the
number of jobs available is still increasing, just not as fast as it
was increasing before).
-
The Fed doesn’t want the economy to grow too
fast. That would be bad. Inflation.
-
The Fed doesn’t want the economy to grow too
slowly. That would be bad. Recession.
-
The Department of Commerce thinks 810,000 jobs
have been created this year, but it doesn’t really know.
-
In February 2007, the Department of Commerce will
release another number for the number of jobs created during the
same period, which presumably will not be 810,000. So, never mind.
-
The Republicans say people are better off.
-
The Democrats say they’re not.
-
Forty percent of Americans approve of the way
President Bush is handling the economy. Fifty-eight percent
disapprove. Two percent thought handling the economy was Simon
Cowell’s job.
So now
you’re up to speed. For clarification, readers may want to ask an
experienced expert to explain how the economy is doing. Like me. I’ll be
an expert. I can talk about the economy like I understand it. I’ll say
stuff like this:
“Job
numbers are signaling a light at the end of the tunnel, but analysts
urge caution.”
“Investors
remain fickle.”
“Consumers
are jittery as economic reports remain uncertain.”
I once
actually had a journalist tell me, “The economy is uncertain,” as if he
had done a studied analysis and come to this conclusion as an
alternative to a bunch of other options. The economy, uncertain? No!
Next someone is going to tell me that love is complicated and cats don’t
always use the litter box.
We
Americans love to simplify things so as to make broad characterizations
about them. Economy Good. Economy Bad. These are headlines you
can fit into one column or four – simply by adjusting type sizes.
Economy
Shows Job Growth With Inflation Fears, Stock Turbulence, Unemployment
Dip And Questions Concerning Corporate Profits, Market Penetration And
Debt Levels, All While Consumers React To Falling Gas Prices
Whoa, says
the News Editor. There goes my front page. There is simply no way to
report economic news in the way that Americans like to understand
things. Really sifting through all the pertinent economic news that
might affect Americans would require far more pages in your daily
newspaper than advertising sales will render economically viable to
publish.
So
something had to be done.
“I know!”
said a headline writer long ago. “Let’s pretend that all economic news
is really part of a big monolithic entity that we can either call good,
bad or uncertain – all in one story!”
The other
headline writers looked at him strangely. What an absurd idea. But then
they thought about the managing editors who were telling them to sum up
the job market in five words. Self-interest took over. The economy was
invented.
It did
occur to them that, since this “economy” doesn’t actually exist,
reporters assigned to cover it would have no idea what they were talking
about. Their stories would make no sense. Did this bother the headline
writers? Not for a second.
“Who reads
the stories?”
© 2006 North Star
Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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