July 5,
2006
Alliance on the Table? Or Kirk’s Latest Fable?
Do you
believe Kirk Kerkorian’s story that General Motors may join up with
Renault and Nissan?
Consider:
I heard
from Kirk that Susan is going to marry Edwin. Apparently Susan told Kirk
that if Edwin were the last man on earth and if she needed to find a
husband in 24 hours to avoid being struck by lightning, and if Edwin
stopped insisting on calling himself Matt, then Susan would marry Edwin
if a gun were held to her head.
So. Send
out the invitations!
Kirk is a
glass-half-full kind of guy. To him, “not necessarily no” is not far
afield from “absolutely yes.” Close enough, anyway, to make a major
announcement to the business press.
So Kirk,
who owns 9.9 percent of GM, recently sent a letter to Carlos Ghosn, CEO
of Nissan, asking if Nissan would like to add GM to the little global
alliance it has already established with Renault.
Ghosn’s
reply, issued by way of a joint statement from Renault and Nissan, was:
“Such an expansion would only be considered by the Alliance if it were
executed in the full spirit of the Alliance, which is founded on trust,
transparency, performance and the full respect for individual corporate
and brand identity." The statement added that GM’s board and management
need to “fully support this project in order to start the study of this
opportunity.”
He didn’t
say no!
And what
did GM say?
"The
Tracinda request will be taken under advisement by the GM board of
directors."
If that’s
not a done deal, I don’t know what is.
Mr.
Kerkorian owns a lot of GM, but he is only the third-largest
shareholder, and Kerkorian liking an idea is a long ways away from GM’s
entire board and management liking the idea. A long ways away.
Not unlike the distance between the Sun and Pluto, except that light
from the Sun does reach Pluto eventually – like around the time GM
finishes paying all its retiree health benefits.
But where
others see problems, Kirk sees solutions. Where others see multiple CEOs
saying “go away, you bother me,” Kirk sees a burgeoning alliance ready
to take the world by storm.
In all
seriousness, GM joining forces in some measure with Renault and Nissan
is not the worst idea I ever heard, at least from GM’s perspective. It
couldn’t be, because GM doing things as it normally does them is about
the worst idea I ever heard. And even if Kerkorian is just blowing
smoke, the value of each of his shares shot up about $5 after all this
became public. And he has a few shares. So either way, there’s not much
downside to Kirk in telling the world about his brainstorm.
Why serious
business media choose to report Kirk’s brainstorm as serious news is
another question entirely. Kerkorian has many interesting ideas. He
tried twice to take over Chrysler, once with erstwhile Chairman Lee
Iacocca on board, because someone in Auburn Hills had forgotten that
Iacocca stands for I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation Always.
Kerkorian
also wants GM to get rid of Hummer and Saab. After that, perhaps he will
suggest creating the world’s tallest building by stacking all the
Renaissance Center towers on top of each other. They might reach the
moon. If they do, they will still be closer to earth that most of the
trial balloons Kerkorian floats out there.
Hey. GM
might be better off if they did take the guy seriously. But since they
don’t, there’s no point to the business press getting too excited
because he asks two parties to do something, and their response is short
– just barely – of “You’re insane, man!”
You’d
be better off picking out wedding gifts for Susan and Edwin. Kirk has a
feeling about those two! And if Edwin does end up as the last man on
Earth, then presumably he would not only get Susan, but also a seat on
GM’s board. Then Kirk’s ideas will get the respect they deserve.
© 2006 North Star
Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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