D.F.

Krause

Read D.F.'s bio and previous columns

November 3, 2008

A Day Off to Vote? I Don’t Think So!

As if my employees didn’t already have enough reasons I’m supposed to give them the day off, now they want to take Tuesday off so they can vote.

Well, Tuesday, yep . . . that’s a day! Seems to me that this is what vacation days were made for – when you don’t want to come to work, and yet work goes on in your absence.

But nooooooo! If I expect them to work on Tuesday, I am responsible for preventing them from doing their civic duty, and if the fate of the nation is ultimately stinky feces, it rests in my hands. (And would you want that in your hands?)

I’m going to take the chance. Not only am I not giving them the day off, I expect them to show up for work on time. Now, you have to understand, “on time” is a rather loose concept at my company. My definition of “on time” is basically to remind you that you know perfectly well what constitutes regular business hours. You know when clients are likely to be in their offices calling you, e-mailing you or otherwise needing you. You know how much time you need in the day to do everything you’re supposed to do.

I don’t think I need to define that for you as 8:30, 8:47 or 9:03. You can figure out when it is. That’s when you should be here. The same is true on Election Day. We still have work to do.

“But what if lines are long?” say you and my employees in unison.

About that. Do I have a conniption fit if the drive-thru line at Wendy’s is backed up and you don’t get back from lunch within an hour? No. Do I make a fuss when you stand in the hallway gabbing with co-workers for the first 25 minutes of your “work” day, when you could be sitting at your desk making me money? No.

So let’s walk through this. Voting starts at 7 a.m. This falls under the category of You Have Something To Do Before Work, which falls under the category of You’d Better Get Up Earlier Than Normal.

Get up. Go to your polling place. If getting there at 7 a.m. won’t leave you enough time, get there at 6:30 to get a better spot in line. Make sure your cell phone is charged. When I voted in 2004, I waited in line about 45 minutes. Let’s say, just for argument’s sake, that you’ll have to wait 75 minutes tomorrow. You’ll have no trouble getting to work around 8:30. That’s not even late! Election Day might make you early. You can sit there with your “I Voted” sticker and have a productive day of making me wealthier.

But what if you’re one of those Not A Morning Person people? I don’t understand you people. If you hate getting out of bed so much, what difference does it make what time you do it? You’re going to hate it just the same. But this is the way you are and I can’t change you.

Fine. Voting goes until 8 p.m. It’s important to you, right? Leave work at 5 p.m. and head to the polls.

“But the wait will be really long then! I might miss dinner!” say you and my employees in unison.

That’s funny. I don’t recall that being a concern on bar night. Or when your kid had a soccer game. Or when you had to pick up your car from the shop on the way home (and I drove you there).

There is some thought that voting should be made as convenient as possible for everyone. Some even propose we make Election Day a mandatory national holiday. I think otherwise. If you really think it’s a “civic duty,” then the notion of duty argues there should be some hardship involved in fulfilling it.

What you’re asking me to do is accept the hardship for myself so you don’t have to deal with any. I don’t think so. I have confidence in you, and I’m pretty darn sure you can handle both voting and going to work on the same day. And if that’s really too hard for you, don’t sweat it. Enough other people are voting. Given the inconvenience it appears to present for you, I think I can speak for America in saying that we are willing to let you out of your duty.

Your civic one, that is. As for your duty to me, get back to work!

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