Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a
ball
If that's all
There is.
If Super Bowl XL, staged in Detroit this
past weekend, had a theme song, it
surely wasn't "Satisfaction," a tortured
and tired version of which Mick Jagger
and company pummeled the assembled
multitudes with at halftime. No, despite
its message of dissatisfaction,
"Satisfaction" doesn't exactly capture
the spirit of this most spectacular of
pseudo-events. Too boisterous, too
enthusiastic, even in the
retirement-home rendition the Strolling
Bones currently have on offer. Super
Bowl XL in Detroit needed something
more...resigned. Weary.
It could have done worse than to plumb
Peggy Lee's back catalog. "Is that all
there is?" Indeed, yes, that is
all there is, Detroiters. Ninety million
people around the world got a party. You
got to sit on the sidelines, watching
the cool kids dance. Oh, but when it's
all over, you're welcome to help sweep
up.
Super Bowl XL, hyped for the last
half-decade as the salvation of this
suffering metropolis, expired with a
predictable and inevitable whimper. The
Pennsylvanians, Washingtonians and
reporters downed the last of their
beers, checked out of their suburban
hotels and headed for the airport,
anticipatory dreams of Super Bowl XLI in
sunny Miami already dancing in their
heads. The touted $300 million in local
"economic stimulus" they'd been supposed
to leave behind, a figure very nearly
matched in expenditures by the city in
its frenetic yet lackluster pregame
preparations, had been revised downward
a bit to, oh...$30 million. Bye Detroit;
it's been real. See you around, maybe.
Had any of the visitors moved out of the
Bowl's bubble a little ways - say, to
the intersection of Fenkell and
Livernois - they might have gotten some
idea of just how obscene their little
fete was in this context. As the last of
the herd filed out of Ford Field,
Fenkell & Livernois remained out of
sight and out of mind. No spotlights
scanning the heavens, no television
cameras, no consumer product
spokesmodels, no singing, no clapping,
no chanting. Just the burned-out husk of
the long-abandoned Foxes' Den bar; the
shuttered Campus Ballroom; block after
block of iron gates, boarded-up windows,
and broken glass in the gutter. No
milling crowds of fans - in fact, no
pedestrians at all, just a couple of
mangy stray dogs slinking around
corners, staying in the shadows.
Take Fenkell west a mile or two into the
ironically-named Brightmoor, if you can
navigate without the benefit of
streetlights. Block after block of
postwar slab-foundation houses, fully
half of which are burned out, boarded
up, and blown out. Occupied dwellings
sport burglar bars and bolted doors,
effectively sealing intruders out and
residents in. Vacant lots, overgrown
parks, overflowing dumpsters, dead
traffic lights. In the middle of the
road, a man slowly staggering from one
nowhere to the next, the entirety of his
worldly possessions in the two plastic
garbage bags he carries. Super Bowl
night in Motown. Twenty-five degrees and
falling.
So, uh, about that $300 million...any
trickling down here any time soon? Gonna
get these street lights on? Tear down
these burned-out wrecks? Re-open the
police station you closed in the last
round of budget cuts? Find this guy a
place to sleep?
Mr. Mayor? Mr. Host Committee Chair? Ms.
Seattle? Mr. Pittsburgh? Anybody?
Hello?
Just sit tight and wait, huh? You'll get
back to us? Once that new economic
development starts to kick in?
Heh.
Dear football fans, so glad you enjoyed
your beer and your Playboy Centerfold
parties and your ice sculptures and your
box seats and your light show and your
catered luncheons and your airport
shuttle service. Yeah, we kind of mind
that it all happened at the expense of
our streetlights staying on and the
trash getting picked up, but who asked
us anyway? We just live here. Good for
you that you got to party for the last
week and pick up hookers in Windsor and
throw quarters in the casino slots and
sing along to "Satisfaction." But
pardon us if we don't share your
enthusiasm. You've had your fun; now go.
That's all there is.
Pardon us, we've got a few other things
to think about now. Like, the 60,000
auto workers laid off in the last few
weeks by Ford and GM, the namesake of
the stadium you were just in and the big
game's principal sponsor respectively.
Is that all there is?
That's all there is. And it isn't much.