Cindy

Droog

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January 1, 2009

Potty Training and New Projects: How Do I Tell the Difference?

I’ve got two life-changing initiatives going on. One is at home, one is at work – and it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

At home, we’re potty-training our eldest. The freedom from half of the diapers in my life certainly excites me. But the sheer to-do list that remains before me is as intimidating as the time my grandpa yelled “freeze” with a gun pointed loosely in my direction.

An eye-blink later, he proceeded to blow the head off a rattlesnake that had gotten too close. And speaking of a diaper, that’s exactly what I needed at that moment. Even though I was 13.

The second initiative is a huge project at work. If done right, I believe it will change attitudes and behaviors, and make us more successful. If done wrong – well, I could be sent back to the old “smile and dial” days when my main job function was to call people that didn’t want to hear from me, didn’t care what I had to say, and a good day was when most of them hung up before swearing at me.

Still, that experience built character, and I suppose this will, too.

The similarities between these two efforts start with the reminder that you’ll find on many parenting sites when it comes to potty training advice.

First, they ask you to consider that two-year-olds are all about exploring just how much control they have over you, and over the world. In other words, they might fight you. They might make excuses that don’t make sense. They might rather keep moving Lightning McQueen across the coffee table while they poop.

Frankly, quite a few business executives are like that, too. Not all of them. But some. They like to exert control. Perhaps by hiring outside consultants to test you. Perhaps by telling you about a PowerPoint that has to be done by 8 a.m., at 5:15 the night before.

They might fight you or make excuses. Not blatantly. But perhaps by making you align your ideas with 50 additional people before presenting it again. Or by asking you to add two more options to the five you’ve already fleshed out.

And they might rather keep doing what they’re doing for fear of change. It’s easier to hang out by the coffee table than to venture into a room with a cold tile floor and lots of stepstools because you can’t reach everything.

When it comes to potty training, they also say to treat it sans emotion. To hide your innermost desires to hear those magical words, “I have to use the potty.” After all, if you show your excitement, you become an easy target for a power struggle.

Again I say, this reminds me of work. I have a ton of passion – too much, really – for what I do. In fact, one my New Year’s Resolutions is to become a little less attached. To breathe more deeply and let my death-grip on certain opinions and projects loosen.

They say to act a little more like my son’s use of the potty doesn’t matter to me. Then, he’s more likely to agree to do it. I knew I should have studied more reverse psychology in college.

They also say to make potty training a positive experience. So the weekly shopping list now includes Superman stickers for my son and bagels with cream cheese for my colleagues.

Finally, they say it’s OK to take a break. To take a little pressure off when your child is starting to feel your stress, or their own. So, perhaps if I stop talking about my project for a short time – stop scheduling meetings about it and stop sending emails – people will start to show signs of curiosity and commitment again.

And while I haven’t read this in any potty training books, I have to believe there’s one similarity left. If I can just convince my son that using the potty on his own was his brilliant idea, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.

In 2009, I will accomplish these feats. I will spend my spring with half the diapers and twice the project proponents.

© 2009 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

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