The
Laughing
Chef
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July 9, 2008
When a Little Rain
Falls, Make a Boiling Shelter for Your Brats
Grilling bratwursts are to summer what Santa Claus is to
Christmas. You may have one without the other, but it is violation of a
law that remains to this date unwritten.
Most people will claim to
have their own way of grilling brats, beginning with the medium
heating. Others will bicker over bun size – either one sized properly
for oversized meat tubes or a traditional hot dog bun, which will make
the brat look bigger.
Others will insist that
they must top their brat with strips of green pepper and onion, while
others prefer the more austere, mustard-only approach. The idea of
naught but ketchup is so offensive that in more civilized quarters it is
considered an assault on meat-related decency, and an underground
movement is afoot to make this a jailable offense.
Few would argue that you
kick things off by first heating the grill – either cooking charcoal to
ash over, or simply by turning on the gas – and then by placing your
brats on a plate and approaching the grill with that in one hand,
long-handled fork in the other.
You walk outside, and
begin to sidle up to the grill. From the sky, however, comes the rumble
of thunder, rain drops begin to pelt your chef’s hat. From your grill
comes steam and the sound of sizzling. Your desire to grill has ended in
complete failure.
Yet, you still have your
brats, and wish to honor them in a way that does not offend the
standards of meat-related decency (perhaps you are part of the
underground movement hoping to make this kind of thing illegal).
Here is what you do.
Fill one pot with water
and begin the boiling process. In another, heat some chopped tomatoes.
The tomatoes will release their juices, which will make what is in your
pot particularly watery.
To this, add some chopped
onion and green pepper, and also some minced garlic and dried oregano.
Cut the brats into inch-thick slices and dump those in. The brats will
plump as they cook, breaking the bonds of the sausage casing, and
forming what appear to be little meatballs.
The purpose for the
oregano is that the brats, green pepper and onion were planning to get
together on your bun, and will be happy to be united no matter the
circumstances. This will leave the tomato as a fourth wheel at a party
for which only two invitations were sent by the host (in this case, the
brats). And while garlic is welcome at any party, oregano helps to keep
the tomatoes company and to prevent a sense of abandonment from creeping
into your food.
Into the other pot, when
the water is boiling, dump some pasta. This is an alternative to the
bun, and better equipped to stand up to water.
Once the pasta is cooked
to al dente, and once the tomatoes are cooked down, blend the two
together. It isn’t a brat on a bun, but it’ll work on a rainy day.
© 2008
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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