The
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June 4, 2008
Grand Theft Chicken
Mimicry, they say, is the sincerest form of flattery. This
is debatable by a matter of degrees. That is to say that the more you
mimic, the more flattering it can be reasoned to be. So it must go that
a thief pays his victim the highest compliment possible by stealing an
idea and claiming it for his own.
Most people associate the
hot chicken wing with the city of Buffalo, and some have even availed
themselves of the history of how this important some say critical
food item came to exist.
We will insult these
appetizer historians, and further argue that someone who willingly
studies something so frivolous should be shunned by polite society.
There are really just
four ingredients to this act of theft cayenne pepper sauce, butter,
wings and drumsticks. You can argue that those ingredients actually
number three. Well, then, remove the wings and add instead vegetable
shortening.
The story starts with
heating shortening in a deep cast iron skillet or a Dutch oven. Some
might suggest vegetable oil, and they may have their points. But were
after more than just fried chicken here, were also after a dark,
lustrous appearance. Shortening gets us there.
Some suggest using
breading. They believe that this absorbs flavors better. The veracity of
this claim is highly dubious, and it skips a critical issue. Wings
dipped in batter are universally soggier and a softer experience. It
rings as true here as it seems to in every case good people like
unbreaded food, bad people like breaded.
Once the temperature of
the shortening has reached 350 degrees, add the chicken. Cook about 10
minutes per side.
Here, it is appropriate
to issue a warning. You will cook your chicken wings twice. We
foreshadow this event by now preheating your oven to 400 degrees.
After you have cooked
your wings on either side, remove them to a plate and napkin to drain
off the grease. Allow them to rest on here for a bit, so that as much of
the grease as possible can drain away to the paper.
Meanwhile, in a big bowl,
combine cayenne pepper sauce and melted butter. You may also opt for
another kind of hot sauce, made out of a pepper different from cayenne.
You may really choose any kind of sauce you like, but you must make sure
that it remains thick enough to coat and not slide off the chicken, but
thin enough that it is not the consistency of pudding.
Once this has mixed, and
once your cooked wings have drained off their grease, combine the two
and thoroughly coat. Lay these out on a cooking sheet and slide into the
oven. They will sit in there for about 10 minutes.
Remove from the oven and
enjoy. If you have done things properly, the sauce will cling stubbornly
to the meat and the mess to your hands will be minimal. It is zesty,
which is perhaps how an act of theft should taste.
© 2008
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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