January 1, 2007
Predictions for 2007
year just passed was a crazy one, and there is, I’m afraid, much more to
come. A few daring, bizarre, and likely woefully inaccurate predictions
for the 12 months to come:
first year of the Democratic-controlled Congress will be marked mostly
by rampant gridlock and partisanship, with next to no major pieces of
will be an assassination attempt made on a major American political
figure, with a controversy to follow about whether YouTube can legally
host the footage.
Clinton will shock everyone by announcing that she’s not running for
president and Al Gore will step into the void. However, Barack Obama
will remain the Democratic frontrunner into 2008, after Bill Clinton
endorses him over his own former vice president.
question of who emerges as the conservative Republican alternative to
John McCain will remain unresolved as the year ends, with Mitt Romney,
Sam Brownback and Newt Gingrich all enjoying brief honeymoons as the
favorite of the right-wing blogger and activist crowds, before being
deemed insufficiently anti-immigration and/or anti-gay. Early on, Rudy
Giuliani will decide not to run, instead endorsing McCain.
Libby’s trial, as well as various hearings held in Congress, will result
in numerous shocking revelations about Bush Administration wrongdoing
over the past six years. However, Democrats will choose not to pursue
impeachment and Libby will be acquitted.
Bonds will be indicted on perjury and obstruction charges, leading to a
suspension from baseball that prevents him from breaking Hank Aaron’s
career home run record during 2007. New revelations about steroids in
sports will continue to roll in, including the exposure of at least one
major star who had never previously been mentioned in connection with
reconstruction in New Orleans remains sluggish, the city will get a
temporary morale boost when the Saints defeat the San Diego Chargers to
win Super Bowl XLI. In addition, New Orleans is awarded a future Super
America’s other tragic crater, 2007 will finally see the start of some
development at Ground Zero.
significant breakthrough will be made in the fight against AIDS.
Hussein’s death, while welcome, will do nothing whatsoever to pacify the
situation in Iraq, which will remain a disaster, despite “changes in
course” and late 2007 will see the start of a phased U.S. withdrawal.
spite of the previous item, or perhaps because of it, President Bush’s
approval rating will never again exceed 40 percent.
U.S. will once again enjoy an entire year with no domestic terror
attacks, although several cities around the world will not be so lucky.
Osama Bin Laden will not be captured, but rumors of his death will
spread multiple times.
Castro will die, but the transition to liberal democracy in Cuba will be
less than instantaneous.
- The newspaper
industry in the United States will continue
to suffer, with even more venerable papers going on the block. The
New York Times Co. will sell the Boston Globe to a group led by
Jack Welch, while the Tribune Co. will be dissolved, with David
Geffen and Ron Burkle teaming up to buy The Los Angeles Times,
a private equity firm purchasing the Chicago Tribune, and a group
led by Jerry Colangelo purchasing the Chicago Cubs and
Wrigley Field for over $1 billion.
- The Cubs,
however, will still fail to win the World Series.
Olmert’s Kadima government in Israel will fall by the end of the year,
but neither Labor nor Likud will be able to form a stable government
Gordon Brown will replace Tony Blair as British prime minister after
Blair’s resignation, but conventional wisdom will soon emerge that Brown
will lose the next election to David Cameron and the Tories.
wins the Academy Award for Best Picture, with Eddie Murphy and Jennifer
Hudson both taking acting prizes and “Listen” winning for Best Original
Song. Martin Scorsese, however, finally takes the Best Director statue
for “The Departed.”
Letterman will announce definitive plans to retire in 2010, with Jon
Stewart named as his successor.
news organizations, finally, will stop running pictures and footage of
Paris Hilton. Unlikely, yes, but more so than Hillary not running?
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