September 6, 2006

Democrats and Freegans: A Match Made in the Trash

Something terrible recently happened to an increasingly important Democratic constituency. Two men were sentenced to six months of jail time in Colorado for trespassing and digging into a fresh produce store’s garbage, taking spoiled food from it. Ironically, the two were on their way to a Rainbow Gathering – a New Age, hippie-type of peace party in the woods.

“Freegans” are an interesting and growing group of Americans whose worldview is, shall we say, interesting. According to one of their websites, freegans are “people who employ alternative strategies for living based on limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources.”

In other words, these people would rather dig through trash and eat leftovers than participate in the nation’s economy by purchasing food, however cheap. This rationale brings up several questions concerning inconsistencies, such as their ability to consume food if it weren’t for the materialistic culture that produced them in the first place. 

But debating their logic is irrelevant. For one, attempting to make a logical, convincing argument to people who make it a point to eat trash is most probably not the best use of one’s time, as it would take more than pure reason to win them over. Further, and at least equally as important, I don’t care. If these people will only use and consume materials out of landfills, they at least represent a good example to kids of what they should not become once they grow up.

I do, however, care to the extent that I don’t want these freegans trespassing on my property and touching my garbage, which is also my property. The District Attorney’s office in this case made the right decision by pursuing the two men aggressively, and noting that he wanted to make an example out of them. This is a positive step in that it discourages further trespassing, but not necessarily in the sense that it curtails freegan behavior, because after all, Americans shouldn’t care less.

Then again, I belong to a political party that most probably gets zero freegan votes come election time, a party that has absolutely no interest in preserving the freegan way of life. The same cannot be said, however, of the Democratic Party. Will they again see the rule of law as an obstacle to promoting political success?

The record is troubling. Democratic liberals work to protect potential terrorists by seeking to block appropriate wiretapping and similar methods against them. They also push to restore the voting rights of felons, and are absolutely in love with the behavior of millions of illegal immigrants whose first action in the United States is a direct violation of its laws. Democrats are so kind-hearted as to allow people to vote twice, and even more compassionately, they assist dead people with voting. They do all of these things in exchange for political advantage.

So why wouldn’t they work to make it legal for freegans to trespass on someone’s land to steal garbage that is not theirs? After all, Democrats and freegans have a lot in common. In fact, some freegan statements sound identical to what Democrats offer or encourage, consciously or not. One leading freegan website reads, “For most of us, work means sacrificing our freedom to take orders from someone else, stress, boredom, monotony, and in many cases risks to our physical and psychological well-being.”

Just right: This view is precisely what Democrats embrace and encourage, a fact that is demonstrated by their constituency’s often widespread reliance on welfare and on others’ wealth.

We have a match here, and little more work needs to be done. Now all that Democrats have to do is take a stand for the freegans, and subsequently get them out to the polls. And it would work out perfectly too – when the Democrats throw out Republican votes, the freegans can simply dig them up and recycle them into Democratic ones!