Forget 911 (and
Common Sense): Call the Hate Hotline!
of Boulder, Colorado, can now finally know they are safe. In the midst
of apparent waves of intolerance, the Boulder City Council rode in on
its white horse, fought its way through the barriers of oppression, and
is well on its way to eliminating offensive behavior among the city’s
populace. By establishing a “hate hotline,” the city council plans on
tackling, effectively and once and for all, homophobia, racism, sexism
and every other “ism” the Left has managed to unearth over the years.
hotline idea originated from a discussion of bias-related crimes that
followed an incident involving a physical assault by Hispanic Phillip
Martinez on African-American Andrew Sterling this past summer. Though
the perpetrator was sentenced to 16 years in prison, the jury, after
careful examination of the case, dropped charges of ethnic intimidation.
But to the politically correct community, facts don’t matter. A black
man was beaten up – once, and by a drunken man – but by God, racism in
Boulder is akin to that of an 18th-Century southern
Oh, wait –
the Hispanic guy was from Lafayette, not Boulder. OK, make that
Colorado. Colorado is a racist place.
Unfortunately for racist Colorado, this heroic city council’s authority
is limited to Boulder. But they’re doing what they can. The idea is that
the $16,000 hotline would help quantify and clarify incidents of hate,
leading to a better understanding of the types of intolerance plaguing
doubtlessly statistically valid data is on file, the city council can
then, um, fix the problem. Further, it would give residents a place to
report intolerance, thereby making them feel better, and, in the words
of a councilwoman, possibly avoid dangers. Brilliant. Why hasn’t the
rest of the world thought of this before?
the only problem with this hotline is that it came too late. If only
Sterling, the victim who was emotionally oppressed by Martinez (in
addition to a few broken bones), had access to that precious resource,
he would certainly still be in one piece today. Just imagine:
Concerned City Employee (CCE): “Hello, Boulder
City Hate Hotline, how may I help you today?”
“I’m being chased by a man! He’s Hispanic, and I’m black! I think it may
be a… a bias-related incident waiting to happen!”
CCE: “Thank you, Sir. I will contact Professor
Ward Churchill over at CU to initiate a study on black-Hispanic
relations in Colorado momentarily. We will then find a solution to stop
drunken Latinos from chasing you and your brothas.”
“Oh thank God, you are a life-saver!”
with the jokes. We face a real problem with a politically correct,
multiculturalist, oversensitive elite in this country, and they are
powerful. A few weeks ago at Cornell University, a white student stabbed
a black man, seriously wounding him. Immediately thereafter, calls arose
about institutional racism being alive and well at Cornell, and demands
were made to establish courses dealing with tolerance and diversity.
Interestingly, it turned out that the stabber was an active member of
leftist organizations who normally advocate such politically correct
causes. At first, this revelation resulted in a collective “oh… huh” on
the part of the community. But of course, logic was not going to ruin
the moment. Instead of considering the stabbing as an isolated incident
resultant from drunken and immature behavior, the conclusion was that
not only is Cornell an institutionally racist place, but that this
institutional racism was so pervasive that it has even gotten to the
City Council’s actions demonstrate that such irrationality has extended
beyond institutions of higher learning to what we would consider the
real world. They further reinforce the false idea of the rampancy of
racism and other biases in America, which only serves to exacerbate
is described as one that would serve as a resource for those who are
offended or harassed by others. Does that mean that “little people” will
call in for being labeled “midgets” as opposed to “vertically
challenged”? Will every use of the N-word be reported, leading to 800
calls a minute from black neighborhoods? Will every woman be expected to
report an unwelcome comment, or every gay man a reference to his
the types of complaints that will occupy those manning the hotline in
Boulder. Anything more serious, whether a threat or an attack, would
naturally be reported to the police. Nothing will be, or can be, done to
eliminate and rectify speech that offends someone, somewhere – this is a
normal part of human life. No law will eliminate sexual comments toward
women or the occasional racist slur against a person of any race.
hotline does is promote pessimism about race relations and undermine the
major progress this country has made in its enormous diminution of
racism and related violence. And importantly, it gives citizens yet
another area in which they give up individual responsibility and replace
it with increased reliance on the government.
not much one can do but sit back and enjoy as the Boulder City Council’s
worldview collapses with time. Until then, just in case you were still
wondering, the next time you are chased by an armed Latino, it still
might be a safer bet to call 911.
© 2006 North Star
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