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Nathaniel Shockey
  Nathaniel's Column Archive
 

March 8, 2006

The Bouncy Smiley Face vs. the Joy Killers

 

Huge companies inevitably endure intense scrutiny from both the media and the public, but in recent years, no company has been as unabashedly maligned as Wal-Mart. Considering the number of employees, employee salaries, affordability of products, tax dollars generated – more simply put, considering these unmistakable signs of a successful business – this popular and rampant vilification is, at the very least, excessive.

 

One could only surmise that these festering sentiments helped buffer the state of Maryland’s recent legislation directed toward companies with more than 10,000 employees – legislation that, at the present time, applies solely to Wal-Mart.

 

The new rule states that any business with over 10,000 employees must spend at least 8 percent of its payroll on employee health benefits. If they do not meet this percentage, the difference is to be handed to the state government. (One representative apparently suggested restricting this rule to companies that advertise with bouncing yellow smiley faces, but this was promptly rejected on the grounds of being “too obvious”.)

 

Maryland’s state government has decided it is a good idea to dictate how businesses are to spend their profits. Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott can no longer spend his allowance on baseball cards. I guess no matter how old you get, parents are still parents.

 

The government has essentially turned the Wal-Mart workers of America into its own union. It even has a catchy acronym – WWA. All this in lieu of the fact that the labor unions have been the most disgruntled about Wal-Mart’s success from the very beginning. It’s rather hilarious, except for one important thing. America does not need more unions. America needs effective, competitive businesses.

 

The reality is that legislation such as this sets a dangerous precedent for the amount of power governments are able to wield. Taking this to its logical extreme, a government can seize any company’s assets and use them however they think best.

 

“Surely Wal-Mart can afford it.” So what? It’s not your money. Allow me to repeat. It’s not your money!

 

Perhaps even more frightening than this outrageous breach of freedom is the ability of the unscrupulous media and the incessant whining of labor unions to influence the general public.  Remove the buzz about the harmful influence of Wal-Mart on the smaller “Ma & Pa businesses.” (Don’t forget the low-income Ma’s and Pa’s who save money by shopping at Wal-Mart). Remove the buzz about the daily floggings of barefoot toddlers occurring in the foreign warehouses where Wal-Mart finds cheaper labor. Remove the buzz about the low wages Wal-Mart employees receive. (The average fulltime employee receives $10.41/hr, which is not bad for a job whose only requirements are a pulse and a middle school graduation certificate). Remove the buzz about Wal-Mart being one of a handful of “corporate giants” that are, by definition, evil. (See Shell Oil, Microsoft, Starbucks). Without the thrashing Wal-Mart’s reputation has taken in the media in recent years, there is no way this legislation gets passed.

 

I’m a sports fan. Upon considering this situation, I could not help but notice the unmistakable “angry about others’ success” aura surrounding both Wal-Mart and the New York Yankees. It seemed a comparison worth pondering.

 

Being neither a gutless frontrunner nor a spoiled, gluttonous New Yorker, I am your stereotypical, embittered Yankee-hater. Among the obvious differences in this situation, there seems at least one worthy of mention. About four teams in Major League Baseball have enough money to buy a shot at beating the Yankees. Unfortunately for baseball, the wealth stays put and everyone loses.

 

Wal-Mart, on the other hand, employs nearly 1.5 million people. Its discounted products are sold to an average of 138 million customers a week. This success story is not just for a handful of businessmen with offices on the top floor of a skyscraper. It is also for a multitude of workers and consumers. Contrary to what most people hear, Wal-Mart actually shares the wealth, which is a vastly superior claim to the ones that most companies can make.

 

In retrospect, I will continue to gripe and complain about the Yankees, because this is right. But as for the Wal-Mart-haters, have some perspective and consider an off-season from the sport of Wal-Mart demonizing. And as for the Maryland government and the increasing number of state governments considering similar legislation, before you haphazardly manipulate the freedom of Americans everywhere, consider those of us who like the bouncing smiley face and will zealously defend it against power-starved, joy-killers everywhere.

© 2006 North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.

 

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