North Star Writers Group

Giving away a six-run lead in the eighth inning is bad enough, but the way it happened was really, truly fantastic. In the bottom of the eighth, the Braves hit three straight bloop singles, followed by an infield single off the end of the bat. All of them were hit very poorly, yet all of them registered as hits, paving the way for a four-run inning, cutting the Phillies’ lead to 8-6.

It gets better.

The bottom of the ninth inning: Another infield single, poorly hit as well, followed by yet another poorly hit, broken-bat, infield single. Brett Myers, the Phillies’ only reliable closer, proceeds to walk the next batter, loading the bases, and then gives up a base-clearing double to lose the game 9-8.

After the Phillies’ sweep of the Mets, I was on Cloud Nine. I could taste the playoffs. Shortly thereafter, they proceeded to lose three straight games. I spoke with a Phillies fan I happened to meet here in the San Francisco East Bay area, and he was ready to mail in the season. And who could blame him? It’s what Philadelphia teams have done for decades, so obviously the fans will follow suit. But I was okay with everything.

“It’s OK,” I said. “They lost the series to the Marlins. They lost a game to the Braves. All they need to do is win the next two against the Braves, and they’re at .500 since their sweep of the Mets.”

In addition, with a win today, they would have automatically picked up a game in the wild card race, as the other two wild card contenders are tied, and playing one another. So the Phillies win the second game against the Braves, and are up 8-2 in the eighth inning of game three.

Yes, they got extremely unlucky with the barrage of six fluky hits in two innings. But I’m starting to wonder how much of this is luck. Did something happen in 1983? Is there a Jonah in Philadelphia who needs to be cast off the ship? Did a Philadelphian urinate on the Rocky statue? Did someone throw away a half-eaten Pat’s Steak?

What the hell is going on around here? Did the Phillies really just lose an 8-2 eighth-inning lead?

I’m still not going to mail in the rest of the season, because I’ve quite wonderfully mastered the art of coping with impossible disappointment. I mean, I’m still here, right?

Anyway, even with today’s ridiculous, gut-wrenching, unconscionable, egregious loss, the Phillies are still only three games out of the wild card race. This is me, trying to be optimistic, even though my gut says they don’t have a chance in Hell.

I don’t know if you caught the 2002 World Series. The Angels won, and I’m convinced that that particular Angels team was the corniest team in sports history, and should not have been allowed to participate in professional sports, much less the Major League Baseball playoffs. There was this stupid “rally monkey” they constantly spewed up on the jumbo-screen. They were incessantly showing this picture of some cowboy-looking guy who apparently had something to do with the organization. I saw more “we believe” posters than I ever care to see again for the rest of my life.

It was filth. It made me sick to my stomach. But they won.

And I’m starting to wonder if that cheesy-beyond-all-reason optimism to which certain franchises cling somehow works – that whole, “think positive and positive things will happen to you” philosophy. Personally, I think it’s a load of bunk, but then again, I haven’t seen a Philadelphia championship since I could speak in complete sentences. Either I cursed the city with my birth, or the pessimism of the entire city, me included, is to blame.

But do we really need to succumb to the childish rhetoric of “we believe,” rally monkeys, and charming old cowboys in order to win a championship? Is it either that, or a continuous streak of relinquishing six-run leads in the eighth inning? Tell me there’s another option. I need to know there’s something better for the city of Philadelphia.

We can’t take much more of this. I can’t take much more of it. I have a family, a job, a life – and it’s not fair to those unlucky few who made room in their lives for such a disgruntled, bitter, jaded sports fan like me.

I will continue to hold out hope for the Phillies as long as it is mathematically possible for them to win a berth in the playoffs. I choose not to consider the remainder of the 2007 season yet another instance of merely ushering in the Philadelphia Eagles. The Phillies have a chance, and I want them in the playoffs this year, not next. Consider this my poster, my rally monkey, my goofy old cowboy. I believe, damnit. I believe!

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This is Column # NS072. Request permission to publish here.