North Star Writers Group

Super Bowl XLI has come and gone, and for some of us, it’s hard to know what we’re supposed to do, or where we’re supposed to go from here. At the very least, we can take a look back at a game that is now history, and reflect on its wide array of disappointments. I think the only bright spots were a few commercials, especially the face-slap one, and the GPS power-ranger, which was absolute genius.

But onward we go, with my list of gigantic disappointments.

1. I guess Rex Grossman just isn’t that good a quarterback. I was holding out hope that he would surprise the barrage of critics who have been mercilessly attacking him for the better half of the season with a miraculous MVP performance. You couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy. I guess it’s just like they say, though, you can congratulate a dog all you want but you still have to clean up its poop. Now that’s disappointing. Maybe no one says that. But I think you know what I mean.

2. I was really hoping that someone would ask Lovie Smith how it felt to be the first black head coach ever to lose a Super Bowl. And here I was, thinking we just hit some sort of social landmark. Talk about disappointment.

3. Aside from a totally bizarre first quarter, the game went exactly as everyone predicted it would. I really think it may be the most predictable Super Bowl ever. The Bears managed to make it interesting without an ounce of offense. Rex Grossman threw two interceptions, one of them especially costly. Manning was shaky, but ultimately impressive in his flashy, inconsistent sort of way. The Colts won. Manning was named MVP. And we witnessed the first black head coach ever to win a Super Bowl. I totally saw that one coming. Nothing’s more disappointing than a predictable Super Bowl.

4. I’m assuming the group of people with whom I watched the halftime show were not the only ones who reacted strongly to Prince’s perverted shadow trick. Don’t even try to tell me he had no idea what he was doing. Have a little class, Prince. I, along with your parents, am disappointed in you.

5. Miami turned out to be quite the disappointment. All we hear about is fun in the sun and sleazy parties, and come crunch time, the acclaimed party town delivers a downpour. Way to go, Miami. Way to go.

6. I’m not even going to get into that Cirque do Soleil fiasco. Let’s just say that “disappointing” might not quite capture giant floating butterflies and pirouetting football players. I’m pretty sure I enjoy interpretive arts as much as the next guy, but they’ve never quite managed to get me in the football spirit.

7. Neither team delivered a performance you’d want your aspiring athlete to watch. I think it was around the 19^th fumble that I began wondering if half of the guys on the field were playing with prosthetic arms. That game was sloppier than Lindsay Lohan on a Tuesday night. Very disappointing.

9. I’m wondering if Jim Nantz ever stops telling people what to do. “Now Tony, I know you’d like to give that trophy to Peyton Manning. Now Peyton, I’m sure you’d like to give it to your team. Oh! Here it comes again.” I’m sure I’d like to take that trophy and shove it up your . . . so anyway, what a control freak. Historically, I’ve rather liked Jim Nantz. But like most things in Super Bowl XLI, tonight, he was downright disappointing.

8. Perhaps the single most disappointing aspect of Super Bowl XLI was CBS’s limited coverage of the fact that this was the first Super Bowl ever to feature a black head coach. Wait, I’m being told there were two black head coaches. Wow, you’d think CBS would say something about it. Was someone going to mention this, or are we supposed to notice this stuff on our own?

9. Where the hell were the Eagles? Oh yeah, nowhere to be found.

Anyway, there were a few things I liked about this Super Bowl. The only reason part of me rooted for the Colts is because I really, really like Tony Dungy. He has been through a heck of a lot this year with his son’s sudden passing, and he’s always been a total class act. I’m very happy for him, and even though I’m not the biggest Peyton Manning fan, for reasons I have yet to figure out, watching Dungy hoist the Lombardi Trophy more than compensated for having to watch the conclusion to Manning’s impressive streak of choking in big games.

Also . . . OK, I guess that’s about the only thing I liked about this Super Bowl, that and the commercials, which are actually becoming more and more significant on my list of reasons for watching the Super Bowl. So I guess it wasn’t completely disappointing, just disappointing enough to make me a little less sad that yet another football season has come and gone.

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