February 12, 2007

Every Love Tip from a College Kid Begins With K

Ah, Valentine’s Day. To some it is Singles Awareness Day, to some it’s Don’t Forget to Stop by Safeway and Get Flowers Day, to others it’s Yay! I Get Shiny Things Day.

About two weeks before the actual holiday, jewelry store commercials start airing on the radio, and there is an awkward silence between you and your significant other who is sitting in the passenger seat. You don’t want to give him or her the wrong message by quickly turning it off, but to be fair, how often do you need to hear that every kiss begins with ‘K’?

Convenience stores are filled with everything from Dora the Explorer cards for your five-year-old to oversized pink teddy bears that make creepy sounds. Just when you thought that Christmas was too materialistic, here is a box of Godiva chocolates that is proof of your commitment.

Speaking of commitment, I just heard a very wise man say that feelings do not make commitment, dedication does.

Being 20, I am not very apt at taking the advice of very wise men, and will consequently be celebrating Single Awareness Day this Wednesday.

After a considerable amount of crying and a coffee house conference on the subject, I discovered that there is some wisdom to be found in my otherwise foolish behavior. Normally, you may think that taking love advice from a college kid is irrational. Yet judging from the very similar advice being offered on talk shows and websites like ivillage.com I think I may have something to offer here.

If it doesn’t apply to you, pass it on to your offspring so that maybe they won’t be passing their weekends at home with their mothers like me, sipping on Lingonberry cider from IKEA.

A very wise woman once said, “Never compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” I think that there are some issues there that are beyond my capacity to discuss (that’s why Dr. Phil makes millions and I live off student loans). Point is, you do have to compromise. Have to.

Just know what you can compromise on and what is an absolute necessity to you. This discussion is best had at the beginning of the relationship, so that you do not have to deal with unnecessary conflict.

Second, you need to pay attention to necessity enforcement. If you let them slide once, it will happen again. And again. Best case scenario, you will get cranky and have very silent dinners. Worst case scenario, you will end the relationship.

If that be the case, tread carefully. Not wiping down the bathroom sink is not that impressive a reason in a divorce courtroom proceeding. But if you partner refuses to communicate with you for extended periods of time or ceases to place your relationship as a priority . . . then you’ve got a problem.

But please, at least in the spirit of the holiday, do not resolve the union through text message, e-mail, MySpace or singing telegram girl.

However, divorce papers delivered with a dozen roses to the workplace are always a classy gesture.

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