August 20, 2007
Baby Crying on a Plane? Turn a Negative to a
Positive
The plane was full.
My seat was 22C. To my surprise there was no one beside me and no one
behind me. I felt like I had won the lottery of airplane seating. You
know the feeling. You can spread out. You can recline without bothering
anyone. You can even use two tray tables!
I was flying to Chicago to present one of my corporate seminars. I
needed to concentrate on reviewing my program. The peace and quiet would
be great. I immediately opened my bag and began to work. The flight
attendants were readying the plane for takeoff when it happened.
“You’re in 23C,” I heard a flight attendant say. And just as I looked up
I heard the increasingly loud cries of a baby. A mother and her upset
baby girl were coming my way. Right behind me was the seat 23C.
Five minutes later the baby’s cry turned into a wail and her little legs
were kicking my seat. I couldn't work with such distraction.
There were no answers to my questions: “Why does the little girl have to
kick my seat? Isn’t there a way to stop the baby from crying? And why of
all places on the plane do they have to sit right behind me!?” I started
searching for what I could say, or what I should do. There was nowhere
for me to go.
When Your Road Turns Negative Create a Fork in Your Path
Then I smiled. I realized I actually had a choice. I could either see
the situation as a dead-end negative, or I could see the situation in
another way. I could find another road out and take it. And I did. In
that moment I found another way to look at the situation.
I now call it “my fork.”
I thought of my own children. I started to laugh when I thought of
Eliana, 4, and Ariela, 3, and how they had done their share of crying
and seat-kicking in airplanes, as hard as we tried to stop it. So I
turned the baby’s crying and seat-kicking into a reminder that I have
two wonderful little girls of my own. Each time the little girl cried or
kicked my seat, I felt grateful for my daughters.
Sure I would have preferred the flight to be quieter, but guess what? I
was able to work because I became quieter inside. I replaced the
negative emotion I was feeling with gratitude for my own children.
Psychologist Barbara Frederickson at the University of North Carolina
observed how inducing positive emotions in people following a negative
experience loosens the vice grip that the negative event holds
psychologically. She also found that people bounced back faster
physiologically – their cardiovascular activity slowed.
When we landed in Chicago I stood up and turned to look at the mother
and her child. She smiled a little nervously at me and started to
apologize for her daughter’s crying. I stopped her. I pulled out my
wallet, opened it and handed it to her. I pointed to the picture of my
two little red-headed daughters. I said, “These are my little girls.
They’re wonderful. And they cry too. Your daughter is beautiful.
Congratulations.” She smiled and said, “Thank you.” I smiled and left
the plane feeling good (something I wouldn't have thought possible when
the crying and kicking began).
So the next time a situation seems to be a frustrating dead end, ask
yourself, “What’s my fork?” There’s almost always another road you can
take.
David J. Pollay
is an
internationally sought-after speaker and seminar leader, a syndicated
columnist and is
the founder and president of TheMomentumProject.com. Mr. Pollay holds a
Master’s Degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of
Pennsylvania, and an Economics Degree from Yale University. Email him
your thoughts and stories at
david@themomentumproject.com.
© 2007 David J. Pollay.
Distributed by North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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