North Star Writers Group

When I was growing up, we would put a rubber band on our wrist if we wanted to remember something. The rubber band represented the action we were supposed to take later in the day. Once we did what we had intended to do, we took off the band. And we would repeat the ritual any time we needed help remembering something. A few years ago, this idea was carried to another level.

Millions of people across the country began wearing even thicker rubber bands on their wrists. These bands came imprinted with an inspirational message. Lance Armstrong’s band is probably the most popular among them. Armstrong’s band says “Live Strong.” Many people have worn these bands for years, never removing them from their wrists.

This phenomenon fascinated me. So I conducted an informal survey with people who were wearing these bands. I asked each one, “When you look at your band each day, how does it help you?” Without exception each person I polled said something like, “You know, I mostly forget I’m wearing it.” Many of them would then tell me the reason they put it on their wrist in the first place – they wanted to make it clear that the initial ritual act was meaningful. The problem was that they were seldom consciously aware that they were wearing the band in the weeks, months and years that followed.

Wedding rings are another example of this challenge. How many times over the years have you stopped, looked at your ring and repeated the vows that you made to your spouse on your wedding day? Do you know anyone who reviews their marriage commitments on a daily basis?

Your ring tells others that you are married and that’s about it. It doesn’t say anything about your love. It doesn’t say that you are faithful. It doesn’t say that you are respectful. It just says that you are legally connected to another person in marriage. You wear your ring without thought, it rarely reminds you to love, honor and cherish your spouse.

A ritual object, whether it’s a band or a ring, loses its power to positively influence your life if it does not remind you of its intended significance.

Consider the Bible. Deuteronomy 11:18 calls for the use of a ritual object to amplify the power of a daily commandment: “Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they be as frontlets between your eyes.”

For thousands of years the world’s major religions have tried to combat the tendency of its followers to forget what’s most important in life. Religions prescribe rituals that employ a combination of self-reflection, physical action and the use of objects to inspire their followers to lead a virtuous life every day.

So if you choose to wear or carry something, whether it’s a band, a ring, a charm, frontlets, a picture or anything else, make sure that the message it represents is personally meaningful. Take the “live strong” message and add your own language to make it your own. Translate your marriage vows into a daily ritual of love for your spouse.

If these ritual acts were worth doing once, their meaning is worth remembering always.

Let your ritual object remind you to be your best self every day. Let it remind you of everything for which you are grateful. Let it remind you of the best life you can imagine living. Let it remind you to smile.

What do you want to remember today? Bring out a rubber band if you need one.

David J. Pollay is an expert in the cutting-edge field of Positive Psychology. He is the president of The Momentum Project. Mr. Pollay holds a Master’s Degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and an Economics Degree from Yale University. Email him your thoughts and stories at david@themomentumproject.com, or call 561.265.1165.

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