August 30, 2006

Macaca, Hezbocrats and Other Remarkable Remarks

I would like to make a few remarks.

The Jews cause all the world’s wars, when they’re not overcharging black people in their stores. That reminds me, the media only gush over Donovan McNabb because he’s black. Speaking of black people, they don’t have the necessities to be baseball executives. But who cares about the front office? Look at that little monkey run, Macaca! You know why blacks are so good at sports? They were bred to be that way by their slave masters.

And if anyone doesn’t like to hear any of this? Get a life, Hezbocrats!

These are not the kinds of remarks that are likely to get me elected to any office, although I think I’ve made clear in previous columns that this is quite fine with me. They are also not the kinds of remarks that reflect my own thinking. But they caused quite some firestorms for (respectively) Mel Gibson, Andrew Young, Rush Limbaugh, Al Campanis, Howard Cosell, Sen. George Allen and Jimmy the Greek. Every one of them was either fired, forced to resign or goaded into apologizing for the mortal sin of letting slip a word or an idea that someone somewhere considered beyond the pale.

Except for Herman Cain, inventor of the term “Hezbocrats” and, if John Kerry is to be believed, “swift-boater” of Democrats everywhere. The brouhaha over Cain’s new contribution to American vernacular hit a little close to home for me, but it gave me a chance to stem a tide, and I relished it.

Cain’s remarks may not rise to the same level of controversy as the others, although you’d never know it from the reaction of the man who almost became president of the United States. Cain branded Wal-Mart-hating Democrats as “Hezbocrats” in his August 23 column – drawing parallels between Hezbollah’s attacks on Israel and Democrats’ attacks on Wal-Mart. Cain’s column is syndicated by North Star Writers Group, which I own. His column did not sit well with a Wal-Mart-hating activist group called WakeUpWalMart.com, which stated correctly that Cain erred in forgetting to disclose his volunteer affiliation with a pro-Wal-Mart group, but whose real point was that Cain’s argument itself was beyond the pale. Kerry agreed, as did various other Democratic members of Congress, who accused Cain of “swift-boating” Democrats. Kerry promised he would not stand for this, a platitude without meaning if ever I have heard one.

When the brouhaha began to take root, within hours of the distribution of Cain’s column, it seemed clear to me that WakeUpWalMart.com thought it had found its new Andrew Young – another member of the same pro-Wal-Mart group, and one who had resigned under pressure only the week before after making the ill-advised suggestion that Wal-Mart is at least better than Jewish-owned mom and pop stores who, he said, had a history of overcharging black people.

Oy vey. A few days of screaming and Young – a civil rights hero beyond question – steps down. Another week. Another comment that riles the natives, and they think they’ve found their next target for elimination.

This has really gotten out of hand. Some of the examples I referenced in my opening “remarks” go back more than 20 years. Some of them were twisted out of context. Some of them were clumsy. Some of them were stupid. In some cases, I have no idea what the poor person was trying to say. But in every case, a firestorm resulted.

In 1992, Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott shocked the world by saying that “Hitler was good in the beginning . . .” after which she said some other words no one remembers. Much consternation ensued. The fate of the nation hung in the balance. The only thing more absurd than Mrs. Schott’s comments was the fact that anyone cared what she said.

Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss., lost his job as Senate Majority Leader for seeming to imply that he wished a segregationist had been elected president in 1948. That was a pretty troubling statement, but was it necessary to change the leadership in the U.S. Senate because of it? I must admit I thought so at the time. Now I’m not so sure, maybe because Lott’s successor, Bill Frist, turned out to be such an ineffectual dud.

Either way, American society spends far too much time ringing its hands over people’s “controversial remarks.” Regardless of how you spread the guilt – the media, the professional grievance groups, politicians, the people who make the dumb comments themselves – we all have better things to do than have a cow because someone occasionally says what most of us usually only think, then kick ourselves for thinking. If someone reveals himself to be an obvious racist, that is one thing. If someone has a slip of the tongue and says a clumsy thing, get over it already.

So when the piranhas started swarming around Herman Cain, my first instinct was to issue a statement making it clear that, as far as his syndicate is concerned, he’s in the clear and staying put. I hope the many other organizations with which he is affiliated do the same. It would be a good thing if someone, somewhere, could make some controversial remarks and pay no price whatsoever.

And soon, if everyone could.

This is Column # DC48.  Request permission to publish here.