January 25, 2006

Osama's Book Club Creates an Anti-American Idol

Authors, take note. Get your book recommended by the Big O, and you are all set. It’s the Book Club thumbs-up you want.

Its members are loyal and obedient. When the Big O speaks, the major media pays attention. One recommendation from the Big O, and you’ll shoot up from 205,763 to 26 on Amazon.com's index of the most-ordered books. That’s what happens when your opinions are as highly valued as those of the Big O.

No, silly. Not Oprah. Osama!

In his recently released audiotape (copyright Cave Dweller Studios Inc.), Osama offered a truce if only we would stop pounding him, then suggested that we would all understand the truth a lot better if we would only read a certain book titled Rogue State: A Guide to the World’s Only Superpower.

How many people had ever heard of this book or its author, William Blum? Not many, judging from that lofty pre-Osama Amazon ranking – presumably somewhere south of Losing Weight by Drew Carey and Lying to Congress Convincingly by Mark McGwire. Blum, who lives in a solitary apartment in Washington D.C. (i.e. capital of the rogue state), was toiling in obscurity with little more to recommend him than an AOL member web site, although it did contain some excellent praise of his work by the likes of Gore Vidal, Oliver Stone and Noam Chomsky.

But for Blum’s book to really draw the attention of his left-wing target market would require the imprimatur of the Big O. And when Osama delivered his blessing via audiocassette, Blum couldn’t have been more thrilled.

"I was not turned off by such an endorsement," Blum said during a radio interview. "I'm not repulsed, and I'm not going to pretend I am."

Nor would one expect Blum to be repulsed by Bin Laden. They clearly share a common enemy, and while some on the left would instruct us that a “religious” figure like Bin Laden would never mix with a “secular” type like Blum, you don’t have to dig far into Blum’s rants to realize that the two view America in very similar ways.

In his most recent essay posted on his web site, Blum theorizes that the Department of Homeland Security is secretly engaging in biological warfare against anti-war protesters:

“A week after the massive anti-war demonstration in Washington on September 24, it was revealed that deadly bacteria had been detected at several sites in the city, including by the Lincoln Memorial, situated very close to the demonstration,” Blum wrote on January 9. “Biohazard monitors installed at various sites gave positive readings on the 24th and 25th for the bacterium francisella tularensis, which causes the infectious disease tularemia, a pneumonia-like ailment that can be acquired by inhaling airborne bacteria and can be fatal. This biological agent is on the ‘A list’ of the Department of Homeland Security's biohazards, along with anthrax, plague and smallpox.”

How can you blame a guy for hijacking planes and killing thousands of people who are citizens of a country that does this? No wonder Blum gladly returns Bin Laden’s embrace.

Besides, Blum has been on America’s case since long before Bin Laden started fighting the good fight by blowing up ships, planes and skyscrapers. Before his entry in Osama’s Book of the Month Club, Blum wrote Killing Hope: US Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II, which details American crimes everywhere from Ghana to Guatemala to Algeria to Costa Rica. All told, 60 years worth of America ruining the world.

He also accuses the United States of no less than 38 “assassination” attempts, including two against Saddam Hussein that were apparently quite inept – since our soldiers are presently holding him at gunpoint 24 hours a day and they seem to keep forgetting to shoot him.

No matter. As we’ve recently learned, a high-profile book club recommendation does not require the author to actually tell the truth in his book. Merely expressing a sentiment that works for the book club’s honcho and followers will suffice.

There’s no need to begrudge William Blum his big break. A fellow traveler like Bin Laden doesn’t come along every day for an obscure toiler like Blum, for whom the enemy of his enemy has become his best friend.

This is Column # DC17. Request permission to publish here.