Doesn’t Stop the Pain
in Big D have been all a twitter recently about Dallas Cowboys wide
receiver Terrell Owens - who may or may not have tried to commit
suicide. (The official word now is “accidental overdose”.)
As far as I
am concerned, Mr. Owens has had way more than his 15 minutes of fame.
This column is for anyone else who may have contemplated this drastic
step or is thinking about it now.
doesn’t stop the pain.
that drives people to destroy their own physical bodies is generally
emotional-spiritual, although suicide can be a last resort for those who
are in the throes of a terminal physical ailment.
death puts an end to the physical body, it cannot destroy the despair,
the depression, the sense of hopelessness and isolation that so often
because thoughts, feelings and beliefs are, at essence, a field of
electromagnetic energy, which science teaches can neither be created nor
destroyed. We can measure the activity of this electromagnetic energy
field with machines.
field is known as the aura in traditional metaphysics. Poet and author
Jane Roberts called it the “tissue capsule” in her work. More recently,
English biologist Rupert Sheldrake has developed a theory about these
fields that is outlined in detail on his Web site
morphic fields of mental activity are not confined to the insides of our
heads,” Mr. Sheldrake explains. “They extend far beyond our brain…”
morphic fields also exist before the appearance of a physical body and
remain after its demise.
experience with these fields that are reflected in everyday sayings. For
example, “the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife”
acknowledges the existence and effects of emotions that leave no
means that if we kill our physical bodies, our mental, emotional and
spiritual energy-awareness remains intact - and we keep right on
suffering unless and until we resolve the issues that have tormented us.
does suicide not end our pain, it inflicts great suffering on those who
personal experience with the effects of suicide on those left behind, in
my family and with my best friend from childhood, who killed herself
shortly after her 38th birthday.
wonder what more they could have done to help the deceased, why they
didn’t recognize the seriousness of the problem and what they did to
contribute to the action in the first place. It becomes an endless and
ultimately pointless litany of self-recrimination.
religions teach that God condemns those who take their own lives.
Believing, as I do, in free will that is unconditionally free, I do not
think God holds any special wrath or punishment for those dead by their
own hand. What greater burden could our Creator add to the agony that
prompted such an extreme action? Suicide is its own worst punishment.
To those in
pain enough to be serious about killing themselves, all I can add is the
perspective of someone who has also considered taking this step. The
crisis will pass. It always does. But death of the physical body is
everlasting. Such passing robs us of the chance here and now to grow
beyond the pain, beyond the crisis.
time like the present for healing. Although right now it may not seem or
feel like it, help is always available. Reach out. There are suicide
hotlines in every state in this nation. We do care. We want to help but
are often diffident about intervening because we don’t think we have any
“expertise” to offer.
who think they might know someone who might be a candidate for suicide,
don’t wait to find out for sure. Make it clear that if this person ever
wants to talk about anything, you are available and willing to listen,
even if you cannot whip out a clever answer.
greatest life-saving gift we can give one another is our attention.
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