October 4,
2006
Boardrooms
of the Future: Dumb TV Inc.
Last night
I had a crazy dream that a bunch of my former students were actually
working for me. We all know that teaching something in the classroom,
and doing it as your profession, are two different things, and I’ve been
living in the world of both for awhile now. The dream was scary, but not
as scary as I think the real future of boardroom conversations are going
to be in 20-25 years, when some of these men and women are in leadership
positions at companies across the nation. I figure that each television
show that’s currently being watched by a 20-something will have an
effect on their business skills.
The
boardroom meeting of the future will probably go a little something like
this, based on the influence of television:
First,
they’ve been watching the “Real World”, which today is anything but. I
don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, not everybody I know
was drop-dead gorgeous, drunk and sexually promiscuous. So, I’m guessing
that “Real World” fans around the world will approach meetings as a
“stage” to get themselves to the next level, just like all the actor
“wannabes” that currently grace MTV’s popular show.
They’ll
probably show up to the meeting wearing something skimpy. Then, they’ll
flirt with each other in the hopes of becoming the next company
relationship scandal, which in turn, will get them recognized by others
– not in a respectful way, of course, but will that matter to them?
What would
be really cool would be if we could videotape what we really think about
people in meetings, and show it to them after we’re already gone from
the company. We could act like we’ll never see those people again, and
like burning bridges is just as easy in business as it is on television.
Then,
there’s my other favorite (not!) MTV show, “NEXT”. On “NEXT”, a young
man or woman gets to interview prospective partners for a few minutes.
If they don’t like them for any reason whatsoever, they just yell “next”
and that person gets back on a bus and heads for home.
Now, how
might that be in the business world? Some of it would certainly be
positive. This would really come in handy when you regret a hiring
decision you’ve made. We’ve all been there – someone looks great on
paper, interviews well, but is sick by day three, totally inept by day
12, and everyone else in the office hates them by Day 30. You could
waltz into HR’s office, say “Next!” and bam! Someone new is there the
next day, bringing along the hope and promise of a productive,
intelligent employee. (Until Day 60 when you realize that just the
sound of their voice is literally grating on your last nerve).
But for the
most part, thinking about how the reality TV generation might live by
this philosophy in the business world scares me because I’ll be their
boss. They might not like me, yell “Next” and then I’ll be the one
who’s replaced.
And then
there’s “Survivor”. It would be great if everybody would treat each
other as if a million dollars were on the line. Heck, that could make
for a highly pleasant work environment! It would also help foster
openness and honesty. We could all gather together at tribal council and
be forced by an impartial moderator to answer questions like, “How do
you feel your relationship with Janet is impacting your team?”
The problem
is that too much openness and honesty is like a real life round of
“Jeopardy”. Answer the questions wrong enough times in a row, and I can
guarantee that you won’t be back tomorrow.
Finally,
perhaps “American Idol” would wield the most powerful impact on
business. Everybody has one of two desires – to be the on-stage talent,
or to be Simon-the-Smartass guy who gets to say whatever he’s thinking
and be a hero for it. The former would get dressed to the nines every
day, and come in prepared to do their best every day. But let’s be
honest. Most of us would rather shun the spotlight and get to be the one
who ruins everybody else’s self-esteem. So, once we leave the room,
everybody’s cussing us out behind our backs.
I guess the
good thing is that all reality shows have what I call the grandma
effect. Eventually, you know that your grandmother is probably going to
see – along with a million other viewers – what you did, the choices you
made, and your behavior, good or bad. So if you ever want to be invited
to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner again, you better be good! Now
there’s a philosophy we could all use in business!
© 2006 North Star Writers
Group. May not be republished without permission.
Click here to talk to our writers and
editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.
To e-mail feedback about this column,
click here. If you enjoy this writer's
work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry
it.
This
is Column # CD15.
Request permission to publish here.
|