April 12, 2006
Failure Stories: Celebrate with
Cindy
I have
not seen the movie Failure to Launch, but I must say – I absolutely love
the name. You see, I have spent the last few weeks on a new writing
assignment, doing interviews and creating weight-loss success stories
for a well-known company.
My own
weight-loss success story can only be described as – well, a failure.
Which prompts the question – why can’t we write and publish some
seriously good failure stories? Wouldn’t that make the rest of us feel
good about not being the only person who couldn’t do something that we
tried?
Forget
being inspired – I’d rather fit in! I’d rather read a story about
someone else who wasn’t able to reach a goal, given all the goals I’ve
not reached in my own life. I don’t think I’m alone here.
I
suppose the best way to start is by publishing my own stories of
personal failure. After all, promoting failure sounds like fun. I can
be the anti-Nike. Rather than “just do it,” I can invent slogans like,
“giving up rocks!” and “dedication is overrated.” After all, those
statements are sometimes true.
I’ll
start with a story that takes place about seven years ago in the lovely
city of Chicago, where I – for some unknown reason – decided to attempt
to run a little marathon. It never occurred to me that since I have the
shortest legs of any 33-year-old that I know, marathon running might not
be in the cards for me. I trained for about seven months, and on the big
day, I was excited. I talked a couple of friends into coming to watch,
and I proudly donned an “Ohio” shirt looking for additional crowd
support from any strangers out there who shared my Buckeye passion.
About
19 miles into the 26.2, I gave up. Yep, you read that right. This is
not a story of breaking through the wall and coming out on the other
side. It’s a story that’s more like, “Oh crap – what did I do this for
anyways?” I couldn’t come up with an answer, my foot was bleeding
through my shoe, I felt like I was going to pass out, and I stopped. I
hobbled to the finish line, and those friends who were waiting for me at
the end? I consider them true friends, because it took me about six
hours to get there!
I can
just see myself starring in Nike’s next ad. Rather than springing up
and dashing to the finish line, they can show me in tears, freezing
cold, hobbling, mostly one-footed, into a small crowd of 15-20 people
who were still there because a) they were working the race, or b) they
were one of my two friends. As I cross the line, I look up at the camera
and say, “I’ve got four words for you. Just don’t do it.”
Now,
certainly I could have bounced back, tried again next year, and
convinced myself not to give up. Nah! Instead, I retired from distance
running forever, and gosh darn it, I don’t regret it a bit. Not being
the poster child for a running success story is all right with me.
I’ve
also got some great stories about my past failure in relationships. I
have at least four or five examples of times when I really, truly loved
someone, but he found a close girlfriend of mine to be much better
suited for him. Now, this happens to a lot of people when they’re in
high school, but it kept happening to me until I was almost 30.
I
could say that each time, I learned something valuable. Each time, I
came away a better person. Ah, that’s a load of bunk! This isn’t a
story from Cosmo Magazine meant to inspire all heartbroken folks to keep
on trucking through until they find true love. Actually, each time I
fell into a spiral of bad behavior, emotional distress and months of
bitterness towards all mankind. So – there!
I
think someone should make a television movie or write a book about it.
This wouldn’t be any Sex in the City/Carrie Bradshaw assignment. The
writer would have to look at the dark side – not the bright one – of
miserable endings to relationships. I believe it would be quite
Shakespearean.
Since
William Shakespeare is dead and can’t write about the reality of
failure, I guess I will have to just do it. I’m an expert after all,
and if I fail… well, I guess I can always find another idea to launch!
© 2006 North Star Writers
Group. May not be republished without permission.
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