December 6, 2006
All Of
Life’s Wisdom, And Fries With That
Forget
about life in the fast lane. Everything I know, I learned from working
the drive-thru window.
First,
face-to-face communication is everything. When it comes to getting
things exactly right, machines suck. Do you know that “medium Sprite”
sounds almost exactly like “meat that’s only white?” And when you send
an e-mail telling me that someone I’ve worked with for years is simply
“no longer with the company,” it sounds exactly like you just said, “and
it’s time for you to find a new job, too!”
If we were
talking face-to-face, I would know what your drink preference is, and I
would know that I can rest assured that sweeping changes that I wasn’t
aware of – and certainly am not prepared for – are not on the horizon.
Second, you’ll always be judged on some things that shouldn’t matter.
One
night, I got chastised because a secret shopper measured the temperature
of my fries, and they didn’t meet corporate standards. My defense? If
served in timely fashion by an employee who is truly happy to be doing
her job, and who makes the customer feel great, three degrees aren’t
going to matter.
I
still got written up. Just like, every day, people judge your abilities
on what you look like, what age you are, or maybe what one person wrote
about you on the Internet. Even though that stuff doesn’t matter. So, I
think of those misperceptions as mashed potatoes. Just beat at them
until they smooth over. If you can’t, then throw them in the trash.
Third,
cute things always poop, and that can get you in trouble.
One
night just before closing, I heard an awful sound, and went outside to
find three small, clearly starving puppies that someone had abandoned at
our back door. I brought them into the warmth of our storeroom, fed
them, created a makeshift overnight bed, and came back early the next
morning to take them to the Humane Society.
Little
did I know that one of the adorable little guys would jump out of the
box in the middle of the night, poop under the bun storage bin, and
sneak back into bed.
I
didn’t find the poop, but a few days later, an inspector did. I fessed
up and got fired.
Similarly, I’ve watched people – young and old – flirt with cute
coworkers. I’ve seen really fun, really creative and cute advertising
campaigns that simply didn’t resonate with those outside of the creative
realm, and were wastes of money. So, some people would advise you to
avoid things that are too cute to resist – they might poop.
Not
me. I say, if you do commit career suicide like I did, just make sure
it’s worth it. I saved those puppies’ lives, and I’m proud of it. You
might rescue someone from loneliness, and that’s great. Your ad might
get someone to laugh who hasn’t done so in years. Some things are simply
worth getting in trouble for.
Finally, I learned that for those who abuse authority, it will come back
to bite them. The best cook we had got fired because he wouldn’t tuck
his shirt in. Everyone knows that wasn’t the real reason. In this case,
it was a simple fear that this cook was about to get promoted and the
existing store manager moved to a different store. She didn’t want to
go, so she made sure he was gone.
Two
months later, she was transferred anyway – to the only store in our
territory that was open past midnight. Last I saw her, my friends and I
were cruising through at 2 a.m., and boy, did she look bitter!
So,
while some things we did in fast food don’t transfer into real life –
such as writing people’s complaints on a little index card, filing them
away and forgetting about them – other things do.
I may
have earned only minimum wage, but the lessons I learned were worth a
million bucks.
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