The
Laughing
Chef
Read The Laughing Chef's bio and previous
columns
April 16, 2008
The Mind-Blowing Oyster Journey
You
are now invited to take a journey. You will know that you have arrived
at your destination when your mind can be reliably described as blown.
Your guides on this trip include smoked oysters, olives and a French
baguette.
The
oysters naturally take center stage as your chief guide, and it is with
these that we start. And as the ingredient that can most reliably be
considered exotic (at the very least uncommon), it is your best guide
into a world that you perhaps havent contemplated. The results are not
always pleasant.
Here, we make a promise. No food stuff should be blended together in
ways that make it painful to eat. It insults the ingredients, and in
some circles it is believed that once an ingredient is thusly spurned,
it will forever taste in your mouth as ash.
First, set aside equal parts of oyster, green olives and red onion.
Chop the oysters,
olives, red onion and a clove or two of garlic together. Chop them until
they have nearly ceased to have individual identity, and have all
blended into an oystery blob in a bowl. On top of them, crumble goat
cheese.
Once warmed a bit, the
goat cheese, when mixed with other things, will cement all the little
pieces of oyster, onion and olive together. Stir them together until it
has achieved the consistency of paste.
You
look at it, and recoil in horror. You have mixed together ingredients
that are sometimes powerful in their flavor, but the appearance is
enough to terrify even the most stout of hearts. Do more damage by
cutting into small, fine pieces fresh basil, and mixing it in. You can
be forgiven if, after looking at what you have produced, you think you
have created camouflage-patterned, gray clay.
Take a fresh baguette and cut it into hunks that are several inches in
thickness. Spoon the camo-colored clay on top.
This is edible as it is, but if part of eating is aesthetics, you still
have some work to do.
The
easiest way to fix the problems of appearance here is to simply wipe the
slate clean . . . so to speak.
Preheat your oven to broil, and grate some parmesan cheese.
Lay
the cheese over the top of the oystery paste, and broil it until the
cheese on top is melted and bubbly.
Look down on your creation from above. What lays under the parmesan
cheese will no longer be visible except around the edges. In fact,
looking down, it will appear as if it were something of a cheese pizza,
with baguette as the crust and the oyster blend as the sauce.
But, they are much smaller, and the baguette is a product of France and
not Italy. The world, it turns out, is full of these kinds of mysteries.
If your mission in taking this journey was to have your mind blown, you
have arrived in spectacular fashion. Contemplate in a fashion that best
suits you.
© 2008
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
Click here to talk to our writers and
editors about this column and others in our discussion forum.
To e-mail feedback
about this column,
click here. If you enjoy this writer's
work, please contact your local newspapers editors and ask them to carry
it.
This is Column
#TLC080.
Request permission to publish here. |