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Nathaniel
Shockey
Read Nathaniel's bio and previous columns
here
June 2, 2008
Confessions of a
Ninth-Grade Communist
I
was a veritable communist until college, and I had no idea.
My
ninth-grade social studies teacher gave us all a test to see where we
landed politically, and yes sir, my “X” fell on the far left edge of the
page. In 11th-grade English, our final project was to write
an essay of at least 10 pages, present our case to the class and then
defend it while they try to rip you to shreds. I chose world hunger, and
I mostly talked about how the U.S. wasted too much money on NASA, and
should do a lot more giving away of our resources to the countries who
didn’t have any. Unfortunately for me at the time, the class, instead of
simply responding, “Well that sounds pretty reasonable,” proceeded to
slaughter my argument. Mr. Blair, our teacher, said something like,
“Well, you were passionate, but they really did tear you a new one out
there.”
Or
at least that’s how I remember it. I’m pretty sure my heart was in the
right place, but my brain had a little catching up to do.
The strange thing is I that attended church my entire life, surrounded
by the demographic that historically votes for whichever candidate is
pro-life and against gay marriage. And on top of that, my parents are
generally conservative. Little did they know they were unwittingly
raising a kid who probably cared more about animals than people, would
have voted to make guns illegal, and didn’t know one difference between
Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. The scary part is I had no idea I had
been brainwashed into a 21st Century liberal.
Politics is a lot of horse manure, or empty calories, if you prefer. And
I think someone who works on an ostrich farm – with no TV, no radio and
no clue who Barack Obama is – is not only better off but does much more
for the U.S. than any Hardball-TiVo-ing political junkie. Our
politics should be shaped by our values, not the other way around. But
this begs the question: Who is shaping our values?
It
took me a while to realize that the American University is not the sole
political indoctrinator for kids who haven’t spent a hot minute in the
real world. The propaganda starts in grade school.
I
taught elementary school music for a year in Seattle, and several of my
third graders were wearing hats and T-shirts with the rainbow-colored
peace sign. And do you know where this came from? The school set some
time aside for a peace assembly. I asked one of the teachers if they had
this sort of thing before the Iraq War and he laughed at me without
responding. Of course not. Don’t think for a second the kids were given
any inkling as to the complexities involved in international warfare.
All they knew was that war is bad, and peace is good. Any doorknob could
have figured that one out. Isn’t school there for education?
This next incident was my favorite. For those who might not know, the
typical way to memorize the notes in the base clef is the pneumonic
device, “Good Boys Deserve Fudge Always” – GBDFA. Well, one sweet little
second-grade girl in my class had the following suggestion: George Bush
Died Friday Afternoon. It took me a while to pick my jaw up off the
dirty tiled floor.
The point is the same teacher’s union that spends enormous sums of money
on the Democratic Party is spending enormous amounts of time with our
kids. It’s just not healthy.
Why are teachers so liberal? The best guess is that they assume they’ll
have less to worry about when the government has a bigger hand in our
education – bigger starting salaries, earlier tenures, and way, way less
accountability for actual teaching – and of course, the party that is
happiest to oblige a call for bigger government comes from the left.
The education system is a financial, political mess, but the ones who
are really getting the smelly end of the stick are the kids.
Yes, everyone wants to be rich, and there could hardly be a more
valuable profession than one that educates children. But based on the
actual quality of education, we’d be foolish to think that every teacher
earns his salary.
Whoever came up with the idea that guaranteeing everyone more money will
improve the quality of applicants was probably drinking the same commie
Kool-Aid I was in high school. Money naturally follows value, unless, of
course, we over-legislate. And until we figure how to reward good
teachers with more money and bad ones with pink slips, our country will
continue to suffer from the same sloppy, half-assed education that got
us here.
© 2008
North Star Writers Group. May not be republished without permission.
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